


(1) Friend Online!

by seriouslyjustno



Category: Free!
Genre: Explicit Language, Flashbacks, Gaming, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, Moving, Past, Past Relationship(s), Rage, Rage quits, Skype, Therapy, blushing boys, concerned makoto, haru deserves better, im never sure, more characters later - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 17:55:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5258093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seriouslyjustno/pseuds/seriouslyjustno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After discovering the "joys" of gaming, Haruka was hooked since. Maybe he didn't really enjoy it as much as others, but it helped him in more ways than just "passing the time". It became something he quickly picked up on, holing himself up inside of his house and staring at the screen for many hours unless he decided he wanted to swim. No one knew the reason as to why he distanced himself further from many people, and he never told anyone why. But, strangely enough, he never had any friends he knew of online. Or in real life. </p><p>Until he realized, there was actually one "friend" of his online. Despite the two being almost glaringly opposite of one another, they had one thing in common that they had yet to find out in themselves.</p><p>[ON HOLD].</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. (1)

**Author's Note:**

> i suck at keeping up with fanfictions that are multi-chaptered but im sticking this one through to the end, i swear. <3
> 
> makoto and haruka are my children. god i love them so much. i really do hope you enjoy this fic just as much as i do. it'll be crazy, maybe even bad. but if so, im sorry and if you manage to make it to the end with me thank you. 
> 
> im horrible at author notes god help me

(1)    Friend Online

 

Haruka growled into the microphone of his headset, gripping onto his controller firmly as he aimed his virtual gun at a player from the opposing team and quickly shot them down with the click of a button. He was growing more and more agitated with the way, or rather the people, on the team. He never spoke up much to address them that they were all shitty players because he didn’t really like speaking at all but now all he wanted to do was yell at them. Training his eyes on his screen more intently, Haruka ducked his character down and shot another player from the opposite team and was glad that they didn’t kill him first. As he was getting ready to score another kill for his bad team, Haruka let out a small sigh as the game stopped and it showed that the team he was on was defeated.

62-80. Surprising.

Haruka was just about to leave the party of people before he heard a voice that blasted into his ear from his headset. Shit, too loud.

“..You’re growling quite a lot.” The voice was owned by a male and Haruka picked up on the slight concern that was laced into the statement which made him roll his eyes.

“Yes.” Was all that Haruka could respond with. He wasn’t really in the mood to speak to no stranger, hell, he never was in the mood to speak to anybody. It was a surprise that he even mustered up enough willpower to reply to the person on the other end of the mic. As he was about to press the button that soon would announce his leave, the person spoke again.

“Yes? You make it sound like you growl all the time and it’s a normal thing for you.” Haruka wasn’t sure whether this guy was trying to chat him up or was trying to get him to stay in the shit party. Even so, Haruka grew more irritated when he heard him laugh and only frowned a bit and narrowed his eyes slightly at no one in particular. He didn’t even feel the need to answer back, this guy would only make him more annoyed.

“Ah, the silent treatment. Well, anyway, I wanted to see if you could friend me and we could talk about the game and what not. You’re a good player.”

Haruka stared at his screen, letting his face fall into its neutral expression and simply said, “No.”

And before the other boy could reply he left the party and started playing a round with a whole new one.

 

 

Haruka didn’t know what was more annoying.

The fact that people only wanted to friend him for who he is or… yeah, that’s it.

As hard as it would be to admit it out loud, at first Haruka found it flattering. He didn’t expect to get so widely known, especially since he started out as nobody. But as time grew on and Haruka played more and more games and in each game his levels were sky rocketing and so were the amount of people that noticed him. It started out small with random people telling him he had good strategies and stuff but soon more and more people would tell him how good he was and he got sick of it, frankly speaking.

Haruka kicked off his shoes by the door and slowly made his way over to his beloved computer chair and sat down, turning on his computer and letting out a small yawn. He’s been more tired than usual lately, his teachers were throwing more books and homework at him than ever now that this was his final year of high school and soon he’d be going into college. They constantly nagged him for not reading more or having to bad grades to make it anywhere in life. But honestly, if his grades were as bad as they make it out to be would he even be in his last year of high school and not stuck trying to make it past the second year?

Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, Haruka logged onto his account in less than a second.  Dark blue sharp eyes lazily looked at the screen as Haruka mindlessly scrolled through the games he could play before he saw the small rectangle at the bottom right corner of his screen light up with, “(1) Friend Online”. Haruka felt his eyebrows scrunch together in mild confusion as he dragged his mouse to click on the rectangle for the first time in forever. The only **friends** that he ever friended were the ones from way back when he first started gaming. Hell, they might as well have deleted their accounts with how inactive they were for the past two years or so.

As the rectangular box opened, Haruka eyes glazed over the screen and read the gamer tag of the supposedly one friend that was online. Still in a mild state of confusion, Haruka read the name out loud, letting his mouth form the unfamiliar word and just make him even more confused.

“Ta-chi-o-…to?”

Biting down on his tongue lightly, the almost young adult boy sat bat in his computer chair and continued to stare at the screen. His mouse was hovered over the name, ready for him to click on it and open up a message box. Haruka tried to delve in his memories to come up with an answer as to who this person is or how they even became friends anyway. He’s never once thought so hard in his life, not even for school. Haruka was tempted to click the name but was trying to think of what he’d even say to this person. It wasn’t every day that he saw “(1) Friend Online” on the bottom right hand side of his screen. Hell, he never saw it.

Well everyone has their firsts, right?

Haruka finally decided not to put too much thought into it and clicked the name which opened up a whole new window for messaging and slowly typed in the words,

 ** Haruse00: ** _How are you my friend?_

Blunt and straight to the point. Just how Haruka liked to do things. He never liked to drag things out, which took too much effort and way too much time that could be spent on gaining levels.

Haruka’s felt his chest tighten up when he saw the message indicator that his one (active) friend was typing back to him. Haruka, even though he knew he was overreacting, couldn’t seem to make his heart calm down. He was too occupied with having many different thoughts of what the person on the other end would say to him.

 ** Tachioto:  ** _I… don’t know? I guess at some point back in time we must have friended each other and just never talked ever again, haha. Well, since we don’t remember one another but we’re friends… we should try to remember each other! Or… become “friends” again or something haha._

Keeping a solemn expression planted on his face, Haruka typed back while nibbling lightly on the inside of his cheek.

 **Haruse00:** _Okay._

Haruka decided maybe doing this wouldn’t lead to something he’d regret later on. The worst that could happen is both males having a fallout, right? Besides, this is probably the only friend online that’d he had actually friended and came back.

Might as well give it a try, right?

 

 

 

“That’s not how you do it...!”

Haruka winced and recoiled slightly in his seat from the voice that blared through his headset.

Too loud. Again.

He didn’t think he’d be the one getting scolded when he agreed to playing a game with his new-found friend, Tachioto. Tightening his grip on the black controller he held in his hand, Haruka stopped shooting all together and silently took joy in the way Tachioto slowly started to realize after having to shoot way more than when Haruka was actually contributing. Haruka set down his controller and listened to Tachioto’s words, a—barely recognizable—smirk settling on his lips.

“Was I too hard on you? Agh! I’m gonna die!” Tachioto began to panic as Haruka was now dead and it was up to him to save them. It seemed though since Tachioto lost his cool, he lost the game. All the while, Haruka kept silent, never once picking back up his controller or apologizing.

“It’s your fault…” Haruka could practically hear Tachioto sulking on the other end.

“No,” Haruka spoke up, shifting around in his seat to try and relieve some of his discomfort from sitting so long. “You couldn’t do it without me. It’s no one’s fault.”

Haruka knew it was his fault, all excuses be damned. He found it quite enjoyable to mess with Tachioto after doing it more times than once. Tilting his head, Haruka stretched out the stiff muscles in his neck and stretched. They’ve been playing for well over two hours and Haruka at least wanted to get to the pool before it closed. He hasn’t been able to swim that much, seeing how he was always getting more work from his teachers and somehow always wound up coming home and playing a game. He missed the way the coldness of the water would surround his body and cause goosebumps to form until he became adjusted to the temperature. He missed the way it felt to swim hours on end and just let his mind relax until all his thoughts were pushed back into the depths of his mind, until he was able to feel as if he were in a dream-like state, as if nothing could hurt him or trouble him as long as he was in the water.

“Are you there?”

Tachioto’s voice brought Haruka out of his thoughts and he nodded but soon realized Tachioto couldn’t see him. Reluctantly, Haruka spoke, “Yes. I have to go.” He never cared how blunt he always was. Even to his “friend” he was going to stay the same. He doesn’t bother with the normal “Goodbye” or “See you later”. It took too much time and all he was focused on at the moment was getting into a pool.

“Wait!” Haruka winced at the shrill shriek. “Do you think… maybe we could play again together tomorrow?”

He couldn’t really provide Tachioto with an answer. Well, he did, but he wasn’t really thinking. His mind was shut down and was now currently running on auto-pilot as he told his “friend” yes. Logging out of his account only seconds later and shutting down his computer, Haruka stood up and grabbed his keys from off of the desk that his computer was on and walked to the door, slipping on his shoes. For once, he was actually grateful for deciding to leave the computer in the living room and not upstairs in his room. Less time having to leave and more time for him to be at the pool.

 

 

 

Haruka struggled while trying to climb the gate of his high school to reach the pool.

The pool that he normally went to was already closed as he was too late on getting there so his only plausible option was to climb the gate of Iwatobi high school and just use their pool. Haruka couldn’t really find it in himself to care about whether he was trespassing and would probably get suspended for doing this.

After struggling a bit more, Haruka was able to hop over the fence without falling on his face. Kicking off his shoes and swiftly taking off his socks, Haruka grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. His jeans followed after and Haruka was left standing there in only his beloved purple and black jammers. He ignored the way goosebumps rose on his pale skin as it came in contact with the slightly chilled air of the night and dove straight into the water.

Diving in was always the part of swimming that Haruka loved the most. That was the one moment where the water would begin to envelope you and embrace you. It wrapped around you and surrounded your body like one of the most tenderness hugs a mother would do for their child. Even if the water around him provided little to no pressure against his pale skin, Haruka could feel it coursing through his veins and awakening his senses. It wasn’t about him swimming in the water, it was him swimming _with_ the water.  It was as if a tremendous weight has been lifted off the teenagers shoulder. Swimming really was his only escape from the real world and the trouble it provided with having the small exception of being alive on it. Out in the real world, there was only him. Haruka couldn’t trust no one—not in a world as terrible and unstable as this. Why should he lend out his trust to another if they were only going to take it for granted? He’s had that happen to himself once and that was enough of a reason to not blindly and naively hand over his trust to someone ever again.

Haruka abruptly stopped his swimming, coming to a halt as he stood upright in the pool, his slender fingers grasping the cold stone tiles of the edge of the pool as if his life depended on it. All around him, the once warm water that provided him strength and embraced him now felt cold and lifeless. It was no longer a mother embracing her child lovingly, the mother was replaced by something vicious and indescribable. Life and warmth was now gone, coldness and death had now taken it place.  Shaking his head to rid himself of the thoughts that no longer made him feel the want to swim, Haruka exited the pool with only a slight twinge of regret settling itself at the bottom of his stomach for leaving so hastily and forgetting necessary items. As he gathered up his clothes into his wet arms, Haruka shivered against the now seemingly colder winds that brushed gently against his skin and flattered the flesh with the announcement of the unwelcomed goosebumps that appeared at an alarming rate. Haruka tugged on his clothes with as much fever as an angered child building enough anger within themselves to soon unleash the worst tantrum the parents had yet to face.

“Annoying…” Haruka mumbled to himself as he finally made his way home to his vacant house, opening the front door and shutting it behind him and kicking off his shoes. The cold boy who now sniffled lightly managed to pull off all of his wet garments as he made way to the bathroom where the bath was just being called to get turned on. Haruka left the bath tub to fill up and made his way back to the living room, propping himself down in his chair with as much grace as a lazy person could ever manage and quickly booted up his computer and logging on to his gaming account. As always, Haruka dragged his dark blue eyes across the screen as he looked for a game to decide on playing whilst never once glancing at the friends list that was at the bottom right corner. Haruka continued scrolling, not really finding a game that he actually wanted to indulge himself in before his long awaited bath. A ding sounded from the computers built in speakers and Haruka narrowed his eyes at the friends list box that now pulsated between the colors of yellow and black.

 _(1)_ _Friend online… One new message!_

Dragging his mouse over to the box, Haruka clicked it and the message immediately opened up a new window on his screen.

 ** Tachioto: ** _Hey! What are you up doing so late..? If it is late over there that is... Cause it’s late over here for me!_

Haruka could feel that familiar beating of his heart against the inside of his chest and immediately ceased the uncomfortable and unwelcomed feeling.

 **Haruse00:** _Hello._ , That was the only thing that Haruka could find himself to type. He didn’t want to bother typing out more nonsense that wouldn’t matter in the near future. If it was late, it was late and he was up while it was late. There was no reason to explain himself to someone he just “met” yesterday.

 ** Tachioto: ** _Do you want to play a game now instead of tomorrow..? I mean, since we’re both on now that is… haha._

 ** Haruse00: ** _Sure._

Soon enough, both boys were now playing a game that involved much more strategy and quick reflexives than the game that they had both indulged in together earlier that day. Haruka didn’t find the game that enjoyable but it wasn’t at all boring, just not his thing. Albeit Haruka’s feelings towards the game, Tachioto seemed to enjoy it and constantly chatted to Haruka, the dark blue eyed boy only humming every now and again to confirm to Tachioto that he still held his attention… somewhat. Haruka was too busy trying to place the feeling that kept coming to him constantly that he was forgetting something. Did he leave something at the pool? The pool…

_The bath!_

Haruka took a sharp intake of breath and widened his eyes, only concerning Tachioto in the process. Ignoring Tachioto’s words of concern— _“What’s wrong?” “Did something happen?”—_ Haruka stood up, dropping his headset onto the desk and made his way to the bathroom at a quick pace. The water was still going and the bathtub was now filled up to the brim with water with only seconds of spilling over and onto the floor. Haruka turned off the faucet quickly and no longer felt like taking a bath. At first it appealed to him, being able to sit down and soak in water that went from lukewarm to cold and think about certain things but a bitter-tasting flavor settled on his tongue as the thoughts that made him stop swimming appeared in his head.

_Is he trying to make me stop swimming, too?_

Turning away from the bath, Haruka waltz back out and appeared back in his computer chair a minute later and adjusted his headset back on his head. Calmly clearing his throats, Haruka let out a small “Hello” to see if the once concerned boy—man, teenager?—was still there.

“Haru..!” Soon after the shriek, a sigh of relief left Tachioto while Haruka felt his eye twitch slightly at the newfound nickname. Haruka tried as much as he could to block out the sounds of the voices of two young boys calling his name. He was never fond of flashbacks that only ended up bringing his mood down.

“Haru?” Haruka spoke, his voice betraying none of the feelings that were currently building within him. Trying desperately to push those feelings down, Haruka decided to train his mind on listening to Tachioto’s words.

“Ah… can I call you that..? I mean… I could call you Haruse but Haru is simple and-“

Haruka cut Tachioto off from talking further with a small sigh and a curt reply, “it’s okay.”

Listening to the nervous chuckle that sounded over his headset, Tachioto began speaking again and this time more calm than before. “You can call me Makoto! Only if you want though, Tachioto seems too long, doesn’t it? Well, not _that_ much longer but it’s still easier, right…”

Haruka—Haru—soon gave up on listening to _Makoto_ speak. Not completely though, as he still hummed every now and then and spared the talkative boy with a short reply when deemed necessary and kept on playing the game with him. Minutes passed quickly which soon turned into thirty minutes and bled into hours of the both of them playing until Haruka managed to turn his head away from his screen to look out the window and saw the sky painted a purplish bright pink color mixed in with a twinge of orange. It seemed they had been up all night playing together and only now had Haruka managed to look out the window and get the sweet _sweet_ taste of sudden realization of how drained he actually was. Haruka could practically feel his shoulders sag with an inconceivable amount of weight as he licked his lips, blinking twice. Although tired, sleep was not what he wanted. Not really wanting to admit it, Makoto with his constant chatter that seemed to be slowly coming to a stop due to not sleeping probably and this game that grew more and more complex kept Haruka from having to think about unwelcomed things. If anything, Haruka could say he had completely forgotten it. As they both advanced to the next level of the game, Haruka spoke up for the first time in hours.

“Are you tired?”

“…Maybe.” Came Makoto’s uncertain reply. Just by the tone of his voice Haruka could conclude that he was just as exhausted as he was, maybe a bit more.

“Sleep, then.” Haruka said, not really sure whether he was trying to talk himself into sleeping for the little hours that he could nag before he would have to go to school or telling that to Makoto on his behalf. Although he had not participated in the conversation much besides humming every now and then and a rare reply, he had gathered a lot on what Makoto’s personality was. Selfless, that was one. When they’d both arrive to a treasure box, Makoto would let Haruka keep the contents inside, no matter whether he needed it or not. Only saying things like, “It’s okay, really!” or “I don’t need it that much…” Haruka was once again disrupted from his thoughts from Makoto speaking.

“Well…okay. You sleep too,” Haruka couldn’t resist the action of rolling his eyes. “Well, see you some other time, Haru…” Makoto’s goodbye trailed off into a yawn and Haruka couldn’t stop himself from saying,

“Tomorrow?”

“..Tomorrow?” Makoto mumbled, clearly sounding confused from the one worded question.

“Do you want to play together tomorrow?” Haruka said, his voice lowering as his cheeks heated up slightly for proposing such an invitation. Would he even want to play tomorrow?

“Sure!” Came the hearty reply from the boy on the other end. Haruka could just about see the smile on his unknown face.

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye, Haru.”

Haruka logged out of his account and booted down his computer and rose from his computer chair, stiff muscles stretching with relief. Suppressing the need to yawn, Haruka’s eyes watered slightly and rubbed at them as he opened the door to his bedroom and laid down, too lazy to coax himself out of his purple and black jammers. Haruka was never one to stay up on a school night gaming but maybe he actually did enjoy Makoto’s presence. It felt less lonely and helped diverge him from his thoughts of his past memories. Finally letting out a small yawn, Haruka closed his eyes and not less than a minute or so later he was lulled to sleep by the sound of nonsensical talk and how he should advance to the next level next time.

 

 

 

Before Haruka knew it, all testing was soon over and the start of summer break was announced to the students of Iwatobi who cheered with the glee of finally having taste the taste of sweet freedom. All but Haru, though. Of course he was glad to get out and away but now he had to think about his future plans for college and whatnot.

“..So annoying,” muttered Haruka as he closed the door of his house and set his bag down, heading straight for his computer chair. Haruka decided that he would eat later as he had not been hungry when he got home. Plopping himself down into his chair and doing his regular routine of turning on his computer and logging on, he was immediately messaged by Makoto. They’ve only known each other for about 3 weeks now but the only thing that Haruka was able to learn about Makoto was that he had two younger siblings and he was the around the same age as him. Makoto wouldn’t tell him exactly the age because Haruka denied to share anything about himself besides his name and age, that he liked mackerel and he loved the water ( _“You like to swim Haru?” “Yes. But I don’t swim alone.” “Who swims with you then?” “The water.”_ ). There really wasn’t much to know about him so how much could he possibly tell Makoto who was so eager to listen?

 **Tachioto:** _Hey… Want to play a game together? :)_

Haruka didn’t even really know why Makoto was still asking such a question when he knew Haruka would always say yes. Typing out a yes, both of them began their game and only one thing felt out of place this time and it wasn’t the running bathtub.

“Makoto,” Haruka’s voice came out sharp, despite trying to voice his concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh! U-Uh, nothing’s wrong Haru!” Haruka listened to the nervous chuckle and narrowed his eyes. “Well… I did want to ask you _one_ thing….”

Makoto’s voice trailed off and Haruka raised an eyebrow only a fraction, settling for staying quiet and kept listening to Makoto fixedly.

“Do you maybe… uh,” Makoto stopped, presumably trying to find the right words to place without sounding like some creep. “…Want to… Skype?”

That caught Haruka by surprise as his eyes widened considerably. The last time Haruka had skyped someone was back when he was younger and had skyped his mother. He never once took into consideration that he would ever be skyping Makoto. He never even cared about what Makoto looked like… well, not really. He had found himself wondering what the person with the caring and selfless attitude looked like beyond just trying to piece together fragments from imagination and his voice. Too shocked to answer, Makoto frantically searched for a way to diverge themselves from the topic.

“S-So, what did you do today, Haru?” Makoto stuttered slightly and once Haruka came down from his momentary shock, he spoke and answered Makoto’s former question whilst completely ignored the latter.

“Sure.”

Haruka heard the sharp intake of breath on Makoto’s side of the mic, “W-What’s your n-name…?”

“Haruse00.” He said blankly. Wasn’t it obvious? It was weird how people tended to change their username with each new account they made. It took way too much effort and thinking if it was ever forgotten. That’s why Haruka always stuck with Haruse00 and never once thought about altering said username. It was easy and simple. A diversion of his first name and last name with two zero’s at the end. Nothing more, nothing less. Haruka listened to another one of Makoto’s chuckles. Still laced with nervousness but now less tense. Logging out of his account, Haruka clicked on his Skype application that has not been used in forever and logged on, instantaneously accepting Makoto as one of his—only, besides his mother--contacts. He waited several minutes for Makoto to video call him and soon grew annoyed. Was he shy? This really wasn’t anything seriously special, right?

Clicking on the video icon, it began to ring. After about three rings, Makoto picked up and his face came into view. The only thing that Haruka could muster was a slight raise of both his eyebrows and a small “oh” that left his mouth. He had not expected Makoto to look like this at all. Well, he wasn’t really sure what he had imagined him looking like but it definitely wasn’t this. He didn’t look bad, though. Haruka kept silent and continued to look—stare—at Makoto, observing his features. His hair was an olive-green color and his eyes were also green, his skin tone was fair and Haruka saw the way his mouth rose in a small sheepish smile and his cheeks tinted only the smallest shade of red as his hand came into view.

“Hey, Haru...”

 


	2. Chapter (2)!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Haru bumps into two people he hasn't see in a while and discovers that his new favorite color is green.
> 
> (And Makoto and Haru learned that they hate the words "YOU WON" .)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next update! I decided I would update every WEDNESDAY for you lovely people. God, I am surprised people actually noticed this and kudos and some even let comments (i'll answer you back right after i post this cuties,) Thank you so so so much! 
> 
> Much love. <3

Haruka nodded his head as if to greet Makoto back, tilting his head to the side slightly and squinting. He really didn’t expect Makoto to look like this at all. He observed the man on the other end, continuing to scrutinize his features and take all of them in before coming to a sudden realization that the only thing separating the two of them was just a screen. Literally. 

“I-Is something wrong, Haru?” Makoto asked, his cheeks and the tips of his ears turning a shade of bright red as he glanced back every few seconds as if to see if someone was behind him. Haruka simply shook his head and cleared his throat with as much grace as was humanly possible before responding.

“You look weird.”

“Eeh…?!” Makoto eyes widened immediately as his face flushed that same vibrant shade of red that glazed his cheeks when they first started the call. He buried his face in his hands, leaving no space for Haru to see him at all. Embarrassment plagued his features, and he was not going to let Haru willingly see that side of him. Haru refused to take notice in the slight disappointment that panged within him at the action.

“Calm down,” Haruka’s voice came out sharp as always as he reasoned to Makoto. “Not a bad weird. You’re not ugly. Just wasn’t what I was expecting.”

Ignoring the heat that was rising from his neck, Haruka turned his head to the side as he had done to everyone he knew in person who tried to make conversation to him. But this time, Haruka was trying to hide his face that was slowly turning a soft shade of pink. Tensing up slightly, Makoto laughed before uncovering his face. It was as if his shyness was only a façade. Did he deliberately plan Haruka to say that? Now suspicious, Haruka turned his head back to the screen and glared at Makoto through the screen. All Makoto did was respond with a warm smile and another small laugh.

“Oh. Well, then, you aren’t ugly either.”

Now Haruka knew Makoto was teasing him. He did make him say that after all. His face all of a sudden felt very hot as he turned his head away again but realized this was just Skype. This wasn’t in person where he had to turn his head to get girls or boys to stop harassing him into talking, hoping that they’d take the hint and drop the conversation as he had no intention of answering their questions. All he could do was press the red button and end it right here and save himself from further embarrassment.

“I’m hanging u-“

“Wait!” Makoto screeched. Haruka winced noticeably at the loud sound and widened his eyes but soon took pleasure in watching Makoto be the one with red cheeks, again. “I was just joking around, Haru. And we only _just_ started the call? Can’t you stay on for a bit longer? We’ll ask each other questions and before you know it we’ll be as close as ever!”

Haruka stared at Makoto, not sure whether if he stayed would he have to endure another teasing or if Makoto was being genuine. After all, Makoto did sound quite enthusiastic to know more about Haru. The thoughts of asking questions about Makoto didn’t bother him at all but having being asked questions back made it a slightly uncomfortable proposal to come to an agreement to. After a minute of hesitation and internal debating, Haruka came to a decision and decided to stay.

“Okay.”

Makoto darted his eyes around the room, looking as if he were thinking of a plausible question. One that actually made sense and could make Haru provide an efficient answer to. Haru watched the teen in silence, trying to defuse the nervous feelings that were beginning to tug at his gut. His mind was racing with all the possible questions that Makoto could ask.

Would it be too personal? Will it be extremely vague to the point it made Haru want to roll his eyes?

Or maybe it would be a question that was solely focused on making him embarrassed? Haru closed his eyes at the thought. God, he hoped it wasn’t that. He never took light to teasing, even when it was from his friends… well, former friends. Wincing slightly, Haru spoke up immediately to rid himself of the thoughts that plagued his mind like a life-long disease.

“I’ll start,” Haru cleared his throat. “Do you like to swim?” He couldn’t really think up of anything else, desperate to blurt out something, _anything¸_ to think about something else.

Makoto, seemingly startled out of his deep thought process, blinked himself back into reality and eased a smile onto his face not realizing that while he was said thinking, it vanished completely.

“Oh! Uh, no?” He said, sounding a bit confused and unsure of his own answer. He decided to delve into it more, to provide not only Haru but himself with a better understanding of how he felt about it. “I mean, I gave it a try once but… some things just aren’t meant for everyone!” He said, sounding a bit rushed towards the end as he almost let a personal piece of info on himself slip.

Haru cocked his head to the side slightly, taking in his words before nodding. He really didn’t have anything to say on that matter. If Makoto didn’t favor swimming, what can he do? It just shows that Makoto needs to be more accepting of the water, that’s all.

“Why do you play video games?”

At the question, Haru felt his eyes widen only a small fraction. It was a bit too personal for him to just tell Makoto right off the bat. He didn’t even know this guy who he was talking to _online_ all that well. Knowing the basics does not mean you know the person. Haru would know.

Taking in a small breath, Haru tilted his head back to glance up at the ceiling before looking back at the screen into those green eyes. They were strange but Haru couldn’t figure out why he felt that way about them. They seemed familiar and it irked him to not be able to understand why. Deciding on not avoiding the question any further, the boy who was reluctant to answer answered back anyway.

“It helps the time go by faster,” he said simply with a shrug of his shoulder, giving off the impression that he didn’t seem to care all that much. Makoto never said this game of “Let’s ask one another questions until it gets too personal and we never talk again” had to be truthful. Despite his thoughts, his feelings went against them and he couldn’t help the twinge of guilt that sparked within when he lied to Makoto. Lying was not something he would willingly do, unless it was absolutely necessary.

And, well, this was.

Seemingly satisfied with the answer, Makoto smiled a small smile of understanding. “I understand.” And the way he spoke those two words caused Haru to sit up a bit more straight, as if Makoto had a slight understanding that Haru wasn’t exactly being as truthful as he hoped. Feeling a bit nervous now and a bit uncomfortable, Haru swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat.

It was quiet, a bit too quiet. Haru wasn’t sure whether it was a comfortable quiet or an awkward silence. Well, for him it was definitely an awkward one but maybe or Makoto it was one of peace. Immediately feeling the need to end the call, Haru pretended to jump slightly in his chair as if he forgot something—again.

“..Haru?” Makoto said, sounding concerned from wherever he was in the world or whatever.

“I just remembered that my…. My mackerel is still on the grill so, yeah,” he said, his tone of voice sounding rushed nonetheless. He could even sense the slight desperation to end the call leak into his voice. “Let’s play some games later, okay?”

He didn’t even let Makoto answer him back before he ended the call, all the while balancing tediously between feeling a mixture of relief for having ended the call and avoiding awkward talk and shame for running away. _Again,_ he reminded himself. He let his own personal feelings consume him completely and cause him to end something that was rather enjoyable. He hated it. He hated him.

Before deciding on standing up, which he was sure he was going to do, Haru glanced at the screen of his computer and found that they have been skyping for over 40 minutes, at most. _Really?_ He thought to himself. It seemed as if they were only talking to one another for about 10 minutes, 15 if you wanted to stretch it a bit longer.

“I guess time does fly,” he muttered weakly.

 

 

Haru stayed away from his computer the entire day. He focused on small things such as cleaning when there really wasn’t anything to be done besides dusting. He focused on rearranging things when he didn’t even care where they were before. He just needed _something_ to do. Despite trying to get his mind off games and well, Makoto, really, his mind just came right back to him.

_Is this what happens when you make a new friend?_

It’s been so long since Haru had actually had a “friend” that he talked to almost every day. He couldn’t even remember how it felt to have one, if that made any sense in the least. Was he always supposed to think about him? Haru couldn’t help but question himself in whether he was becoming too clingy to Makoto, seeing as he is the only person he talks to nowadays.

Haru soon realized he was in the kitchen, his hand placed on top of the counters surface, relishing in the coldness it provided. He was pretty hot after moving stuff around unconsciously. Still, standing there in the kitchen, he had no idea what to do. He wasn’t hungry, so he wasn’t willing to cook or eat. He wasn’t thirsty, just sweating ever so slightly.

“Oh,” he spoke softly, coming to a sudden realization. “I can go and feed the cat... it’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Haru felt guilty as he thought about the white cat he had always took care of that loitered outside by the steps. He had always found a way to feed it every day, despite being consumed by games and swimming, but lately, he hasn’t even fed it at all. It’s all because—Haru sighed quietly, opening the cabinet doors and straightening himself so he could grab the can of tuna that was on the top shelf. He’d never eat this monstrosity if he were a cat, but… it’s not his choice, is it?

Walking out of the kitchen with a bit more speed than was necessary, Haru slipped on his shoes that were by the front door and walked out of his house. The fresh air felt nice after being cooped up inside for such a long period of time.

Soon, Haru had made his way to the cat that was exactly where he had always seen it. Smiling to himself, Haru crouched down by it and opened the can of tuna as the cat began to rub its cheek against his ankle in affection. He put the now open can on the ground, and watched it silently as it ate, petting the cats head with adoration. He didn’t know how a cat could live so long on its own. Especially one as small as this. In a way, it was just like him. He didn’t need to depend on anyone because all he really needed was himself.

“I don’t think that’s quite correct, Nagisa. Penguins cannot fly, nor will they ever be able to educate themselves on how to—“

Haru instantaneously picked up his head to look at the approaching pair that were still rather far away. His eyes blinked unsurely as he realized he had stood up instantly upon hearing that familiar voice he tried to block out with the rest of the voices he had trained himself to despise. He could see them coming closer, yet he had no will power to make himself move. He was grounded, stuck, and unable to move his legs as if they were a mind of their own. His heart beat accelerated in his chest and he broke out in the smallest of panic but his face kept that calm and cool façade he had perfected over the years he was, well, alone.

“Hey, Rei-chan…” Haru knew for sure now it was the both of them. He thought foolishly—and hopefully—he was just hearing stuff and needed some glasses. Nagisa tugged on Rei’s shirt lightly, pointing in Haru’s direction. “Is that Haru-chan..?!” His voice squeaked towards the end in surprise and minor shock.

Before Rei could even provide the small, exuberant blond with an answer, he was running towards Haru with an incredible amount of speed and Haru knew, in no way in hell that he could avoid this one. He simply closed his eyes and waited for Nagisa to pounce on him and send both of them colliding with the ground. Instead of being tackled like he had anticipated, he felt a pair of arms wrap around him.

And surprisingly, it wasn’t tight.

Haru opened his eyes to look down at Nagisa, who buried his head in Haru chest and he looked up suddenly, a large grin on his face despite the sniffles he was making.

“I- You- Oh my god! You’re actually here... I thought you was... I don’t know!” Nagisa couldn’t be able to form coherent sentences, his face looking livelier than Haru had ever witnessed it and his eyes shone brilliantly. Rei, however, stood on the side awkwardly watching the two of them not really knowing where he fit in. Nagisa seemed to follow where Haru was looking and grabbed ahold of Rei’s hand in pulled him in the hug before he could protest. Well, it wasn’t really a hug since it was one-sided.

Haru felt confused, happy, upset, and guilty all at once. He couldn’t seem to handle these emotions well, his calm façade was slowly breaking down before his very own eyes as he clenched his jaw a bit. He wanted to hug them, for finally being there and being able to catch up to him. He wanted to snap at them, for not taking his side when he needed them too, even if he did realize he was being selfish later on. He wanted to, well, cry because they were _finally_ there. And lastly, he wanted to apologize for disappearing whenever they tried to catch his attention and downright ignoring them for something that wasn’t even their fault.

Soon, Haru had realized that the both of them were talking to him animatedly. He couldn’t really make out what they were saying, their voices melding into one another as they tried to speak over the other to gain Haru’s attention. The only words he could make out was, “I missed you, Haruka-senpai!” “Haru-chan, why did you ignore-“, “Do you think penguins can fly?”, and “Nagisa, don’t drown him in your nonsense, stop asking ridiculous questions!”

Suddenly, he felt the urge to laugh. He has never felt like this before, he rarely laughed but this time, he felt incredibly relieved. He’d thought they had hate him for what he’s done but instead, it seemed they have missed him just as he has missed them. Maybe even more. Before he could help himself, he let a small laugh slip from his mouth before it grew into something more. Once he was done laughing, a small smile on his face, he actually felt _good._

Maybe it wasn’t hard as he had thought to see them again, but he knew for sure he would have to face him soon. And he wouldn’t forgive him easily, as he had forgave Nagisa and Rei.

 

 

 

“Finally,” Haru let out a groan, taking off his shoes and tossing them to the side carelessly. His feet ached from walking around so much with Rei and Nagisa. They drowned him in questions, some that were even too personal for him to be able to answer without Rei noticing and changing the subject. He simply came to the conclusion that he wasn’t ready, even after all this time.

Haru sat down in his computer chair, staring at the screen that was on, as always. He dreaded signing into his account after logging off previously. He was scared shitless, so to say. He was wondering If Makoto would even want to talk to him again, hell, it’d be surprising if he unfriended him. The thought of being unfriended by Makoto made him a bit disappointed, although he’d never speak that feeling aloud. Slowly and hesitantly typing in his username and password, he logged on.

** Tachioto:  ** _Haru, are you okay..?_

** Tachioto:  ** _I’m sorry if I said something out of place. I didn’t mean it!_

** Tachioto:  ** _Maybe you did only just leave to go and check on your mackerel… oh gosh this is embarrassing, I’ll just stop now._

Haru couldn’t help but feel guilty while reading the messages. He should have at least had gotten back to Makoto and told him everything was fine and the mackerel was _not_ burned or it was even cooked but that could be his own little secret. He could see that Makoto was online and his suppressed the urge to immediately type something back. He didn’t want to look desperate…

Dismissing his foolish thoughts, Haru had decided he let Makoto be confused long enough.

 **Haruse00** : _Hello._

Haru was tempted to say that he was okay, but he didn’t feel like putting it. He wasn’t okay at all. In fact, he was beyond okay. But putting “I feel amazing but my feet are sore thanks to my two old friends that are now my friends again but I’m not sure!” didn’t really seem to suit himself. And knowing Makoto—well, what little he knew—he would ask him a billion questions just from that one statement alone. While thinking to himself, Haru heard the ping that soon became something he was familiar with unlike a few weeks ago.

** Tachioto: ** _Hey, Haru! Sorry for um… spamming you I guess? I was just um… curious and stuff. Did you mackerel taste good? :)_

** Haruse00:  ** _Yes. Do you want to play a game with me?_

Haru decided that was the only apology he could say to Makoto without _actually_ apologizing. He knew sooner or later he’d do something to where he’d have to type sorry into the box instead of playing games to avoid said apologizing.

But for now, he was okay with just playing games and hoping that was enough for Makoto too.

“This is it, Haru,” Makoto said, his voice teetering between nervousness and excitement. “We’re finally at the last room, the last boss. Oh my gosh.”

Haru could practically hear Makoto shifting around nervously in his seat, sitting on the edge waiting for the game to finally end. All Haru could do was smile inwardly and hum into his mic in agreement. Although he wasn’t as enthusiastic as Makoto, he was sure as hell glad to get this game over with. It hurt his brain at night to try and rethink the puzzles in his head to see how they made any sense and whether there was a pattern he could discern to tell Makoto about it the next day.

“Don’t screw it up, Makoto.” Haru used the name card to show that he was just as serious about this as Makoto. He did not want to start from the beginning or their last save point. The puzzles were incredibly hard, and he couldn’t even remember how he had did them half the time. He heard Makoto take in a deep breath and release it.

“Okay, I’m ready. Let’s go.”

And with his word, they walked their virtual characters through the cliché red doors that were thrice their characters’ size.

 

 

“Okay, um, Haru,” Makoto say, his voice small and meek as he spoke into the mic. Haru could barely make out what he was trying to say without having to press the headset into his ear more and higher up the volume. “I’m not ready. I lied. Let’s go back, or how about doing this tomorrow?” \

Haru rolled his eyes at the guy on the other end. He was not going to give up now, they were literally almost done. All they had to do was hit this boss in the right place, at the right time, and get it over with.

“Don’t get so worried,” Haru said lightly, as if he weren’t slightly panicking himself. These types of games were hard for him, too. “All we have to do is wait or him to fall and his protective layer would break, or well, it should. After that, we attack, okay? Other than that, dodge.”

That was probably the most Haru has ever spoken to Makoto at once but the other heard it all, saying a small yes and taking in another breath. Haru could only assume Makoto never beat much games for this reason alone.

After about a good half an hour, they had finally beat the boss. It was sprawled out on the floor, dead. It dissolved and a key was let on the stone ground. Makoto groaned loudly, causing Haru to wince and jump in his seat at the sudden noise.

“Not again! No, I am not doing another room, Haru. I refuse,” he said, sounding angry and upset simultaneously. “I don’t like this game.” He muttered to himself childishly.

“Be quiet,” Haru said, refusing the urge to roll his eyes before they may literally pop out of his head due to how many times  he had rolled them when talking to Makoto. Haru made his character equip the key and open up the blue doors that was at the end of the stony path.

“YOU WIN, YOU WIN, YOU-“

Haru felt his heart jump straight out of his chest. He was not ready for that at all, nor was Makoto as he heard him yelp on the other end too.

“This game… is definitely… the worse.”

 

 

After the mini-heart attack, both guys received their achievements for beating the entire game and Haru felt glad. He wasn’t happy because of the achievement, no. He could care less about that. He was just happy it was finally over with. No more foolish games like that, hell no.

“So… now what?” Makoto asked and Haru realized he was still in the party with him. He’d usually have left by now but well, this is Makoto. His “friend”.

“We could try skyping again, I mean, last time…” Haru was a bit surprised at himself for even proposing the idea that he was uncomfortable with himself. Maybe the guilt he felt for ending the call abruptly still lingered within him. He heard Makoto utter a small “Really?” and all he could do was hum what Makoto took as a yes.

Soon, he heard the weird music that started when it was alerting you that someone was calling. Answering it, Haru looked at Makoto who seemed to be a bit flushed, assuming it was from the “YOU WON” that the game so blaringly yelled into their ears.

“I really, really don’t like that game,” Makoto said, being the first to speak up and Haru couldn’t help but agree. It scared him, really, and on top of that it made his head hurt. He definitely won’t be replaying that game for a good amount of time.

“It was…okay,” he said, instead. He had to at least give it some credit. It helped him not be able to think of certain people at night because his mind was fogged with the thoughts of puzzles and Makoto’s angry and upset gibberish whenever he got the puzzle wrong.

“Well, kind of,” Makoto said, pouting slightly and Haru couldn’t help but snicker a bit at the display. He was too old to be pouting, but it did look kind of ado- No. Can you even call your friends that? Haru really needs a book titled “How to Think About Your Friends 101”. He’s sure it would be a big help for him in the near future.

“Do you live with anyone?” Makoto suddenly asked, his face contorting into a look of confusion and curiosity. Haru couldn’t blame him for wondering that, seeing as to how Haru was always online and never seemed to be getting interrupted unlike Makoto, who got interrupted quite frequently.

“No, my parents are away for now,” he spoke finally, his voice giving off the tone of carelessness. He didn’t really need them now that he was actually going to be in college soon. With his own job and everything. Haru guessed, in a way, that he didn’t like his parents for that very reason. He didn’t want to have to depend on them but he had too. He was a high school student with no job, but now he wasn’t. He was able to depend on himself _completely._

“Oh…sorry.”

Haru shook his head ever so slightly and let out a small sigh. He was tired of Makoto saying sorry to him for no reason at all.

“It’s fine,” he said before deciding to ask a question that has been lingering in his mind for quite some time now. “Are you a high school student..?” He didn’t want to sound like a creep and outright just ask for his age, but well, he was sure he still sounded creepy. Makoto surely didn’t look like he was in high school, but looks could be deceiving. He’s seen some people that looked like actual men in some of his old classes.

“No, not anymore!” Makoto said, his smile wide and proud as his eyes shone with newfound brightness an Haru couldn’t help but stare, suppressing the urge to smile himself at the sight of Makoto just generally being happy. His mood was contagious, and for once, Haru was glad for that. And now, Haru stopped suppressing his urge to smile and just let it fall on his face naturally.

“Hey, Haru, what’s your favorite color?” Makoto asked, still curious as ever to learn more about Haru.

Haru never really thought about that, he didn’t really have a favorite color. Instead he said the first one that popped up in his head.

“Purple.”

But he lied, that wasn’t his favorite color as of now. The only color he’d probably be able to think of now was green.

_Green, green, green._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as i was fixing some stuff, i realized how short this chapter was. hopefully, the next will be longer! im sorry. i just love makoto and haru skyping and asking silly questions to get to know each other. i find it cute and just ugh, i dont think its normal to fangirl over your own story, is it? 
> 
> thank you for reading! kudos, comment, i dont care i just hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> (i swear i love you all omfg. <3 sorry if this chapter sucked as-)


	3. Chapter (3)!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we learn more about Makoto and Haru's preferred choice in games.
> 
> (Also in Makoto's POV)

Sometimes, it’s really hard to help other people while constantly ignoring your own feelings. Makoto never really cared for himself that much when he knew that his “problems” were pretty much insignificant to those that were way bigger, much worse. He’d always hid his true emotions, always trying to find ways to help.

 

And he was fine with that.

 

Makoto believed that it was much better for himself to help others, because besides the obvious of just generally being a good person, he was helping himself, too. Dwelling in the problems of those around him rather than his own was somewhat like a temporary escape from his own self and the world—his world—that he didn’t seem to want to be in.

 

And yet again, he was fine with that.

 

But sometimes, the stress becomes too much and the only thing he could really think of doing was, well, nothing really. Makoto didn’t know what to do when things became too much, too overwhelming to bear on his shoulders alone. He wanted peace, he yearned for peace. He wanted everything to just be _right_. Not just for himself, but for his family, too. And when things would become too much, he’d turn to games, as childish as that sounded, it helped him.

 

Makoto knew for sure he was a horrible gamer. He never tended to finish much games, really— _“Oh my god, I can’t do this last level I’m going to die and just start all over again… I’ll just play something else for now.”—_ and when he did, it made him a bit upset. But playing games was another escape for him. A place that was blissful, despite not being real one bit.

 

“I’m so proud of you,” his mother stated, a delicate smile on her face as she held his face in her small hands and looked up at him with fondness and love. “Soon, you’re going to go to college, get a nice job and be—peaceful.”

 

The look on her face and the small internal-debate that flitted in her eyes showed what she was about to say. “And be _happy”._ He would have protested saying that he was already happy, but yet again, it was simply the truth.

 

Makoto made his smile form into a shy grin that he’s perfected for quite some time now. “Don’t say that, you know I’m already fine here. If anything, I’ll just get a job somewhere around here so I won’t have to leave you guys.” His voice was full of hope and he wasn’t sure whether he was trying to convince his mother that he’d stay or himself.

 

“Oh shush,” his mother said, pushing him away before going to the pot that was cooking something—maybe soup?—and she began to stir it after taking off the lid. The white steam rose into the air before disappearing completely. “You’re going to go to college, young man. _And_ making something out of yourself.”

 

“Hm,” Makoto hummed, not really agreeing with her but not disagreeing either. He was happy to be out of high school, but he sure wasn’t happy going off to college and leaving his mother and the twins all by themselves. “Are you trying to get rid of me?” He said teasingly, not really knowing what to say in that moment.

 

“Be quiet, you.” Her laugh rang throughout the small kitchen, light and easygoing. It made Makoto’s heart warm up and a genuine smile rise on his lips. He gave her a small kiss on the cheek before leaving the kitchen to let her cook in peace.

 

It was always quiet with the twins not around. They were usually hanging outside with their friends, having a _life._ That was kind of something Makoto seemed to lack in and picking up gaming―like hard-core staying inside the room for a good 6-8 hours―only proved that. He didn’t envy them for it, in fact he was happy for them. He was glad they were able to be social and whatnot, even though he stayed inside to play games and look for jobs online that’d hire just-graduated high school students. He seemed to be more into gaming, now that he met Haru.

 

At the thought, Makoto smiled. He had actually made a friend, or well, what he thinks is a friend. He never really thought of Haru as a stranger or anything just because he had met him online. An online friendship is just as real as one in real life and he never doubted that one bit. Playing games with Haru was probably one of Makoto’s favorite things to do as of now. Even if Haru barely contributed to the conversation besides hummed agreements and short, clipped, sentences.

 

Now that Makoto thought about it, he never seemed to have a hard time making friends. What the problem was that he couldn’t seem to be able to _keep_ them. It was as if they grew bored of him after a week or so, learning all they could about him before fleeting to sought out a new “friend”. Of course, it had hurt Makoto the first few times. He constantly questioned himself and his personality traits, wondering—almost to the point of desperation—as to why he couldn’t seem to make people stay. Mostly everyone he knew left sooner or later, and the thought of leaving his family just as the people Makoto became “friends” with left him sent a sharp pang of guilt and sadness throughout his chest.

 

“What to do, what to do,” he murmured lowly, sitting in his computer chair and tapping the desk with his index finger. He contemplated turning on the computer and playing some games but there was a constant tugging in his chest and mind telling him that he really should be looking for jobs that’d hire people like him. “Ugh.”

 

Resting his forehead against the cool wooden surface of his desk, he let his body relax momentarily. As he went to close his eyes and probably just sleep right in the exact position he was in—it was pretty comfortable, he had to admit.—he heard a loud _ding_ sound from his computer. He was so sure he had turned it off, earlier.

 

He was losing his mind.

 

_(19)_ _Friend(s) online… One new message!_

 

For a second, Makoto couldn’t help but feel his pulse speed up and his breath grow a bit strained. After noticing how he was reacting to a _message_ of all things, he really did contemplate whether he should see a doctor and get himself checked out. He was overreacting. It probably wasn’t even him.

 

 **Haruse00:** _I found a game and I want you to play it with me._

 

Never mind, it definitely was him. Makoto set his hand over his keyboard, his fingers hovering over the keys momentarily. Did he really want to play a game with him? With the way he had reacted last time, he thought Haru would have given up on wanting to play games with Makoto. Just thinking of his earlier actions caused his cheeks to heat up from embarrassment. God, he was a mess.

 

** Tachioto: ** _Sure! But...Um…What game are you suggesting we play? I hope it’s not another game like last time, the puzzles hurt my head._

 

**Haruse00: ** _No. It’s nothing of that sort. This game is better, much better._

 

If Haru was talking about the game on this type of appreciation level, it must be good right?

 

Makoto typed out his reply and smiled, happy to play another game with Haru.

* * *

 

 “I’m not playing this,” he said, trying to keep his voice calm and polite as he spoke to Haru through his headset all the while trying not to laugh. “I’m sorry.”

 

“You will play this,” Haru stated, his tone of voice sounding determined and if Makoto wasn’t just fooling himself, he’d say he could hear a bit of excitement in his voice, too. The mere thought of Haru being excited at anything made Makoto want to laugh more, especially at a game like _this._

 

He moved his mouse, his character—basically just a dummy doll with absolutely no facial feature at all—moving its head along with the mouse. He used the WASD keys to try and control the movement of his character but it was hard because it seemed to go the way Makoto _didn’t_ want it to go. Not only was this game confusing, it seemed to lack any real plot at all. He wasn’t sure why Haru would want him to play this game out of all the games out there. He didn’t even think about Haru ever being into simulator games. Definitely not swimming ones, at that.

 

“Hmm, the timer should be starting soon,” Haru said from his end, speaking low into the mic. “Get ready.”

 

Makoto refused to let out a sigh and re-read over the rules to make sure he was controlling his character correctly and wondering whether this game was just about swimming or if he had missed a point in the instructions list.

**_SWIM, SWIM, LITTLE FISH._ ** _(Instructions)_

  1. _Use the W, A, S, D keys to move your player! Use the mouse to control the steering of your player and where they go in the water._
  2. _Avoid the edges and do not bump into the other player(s) character. This will result in you having to start from the beginning, even if you’re in the middle of a race!_
  3. _Swim as fast as you can to reach the finish line and beat your opponent before they can beat you to win!_
  4. _Have fun, little fish!_



 

While Makoto was reading the instructions, confused and a bit sad for the person that made this game, he failed to notice that the timer had already started.

 

“Oh,” he said, dumbfounded before realizing that the time _actually_ started. “Oh!” He dove his character into the water as gracefully as he could and tried to make his character swim. The only thing he seemed to be able to do was get his character to go in circles and repeatedly touch the wall behind him, resulting into the character resetting multiple times in the water.

 

While Makoto was stressing over how to control his characters movements, Haru seemed to have already finished. Of course he’d be able to figure out the controls of this game. It was a swimming game after all, and if Makoto remembered correctly, Haru enjoyed swimming just as much as he enjoyed gaming. Maybe even a little bit more.

 

“You’re doing it wrong,” Haru stated simply, possibly just watching his character fail multiple times and reset rapidly. Makoto wanted to throw a snarky remark but instead, bit his tongue. This game was really grating his nerves and he didn’t want to take out his frustrated feelings on Haru. He knew he was bad at games, but not _this_ bad. This was a whole new level.

 

“The keys are switched,” Haru began, his voice still low as ever as it sounded right into Makoto’s ear. “W isn’t for moving forward, but backward. As for S, it’s for moving forward. A and D are used for the arms and legs and you have to hold down the W button while pressing both A and D at the same time.”

 

Makoto listened to Haru, taking his words in and following his instructions. They were much better than the instructions that were presented to him in game—he may have to write to the developer that his game lacked many important details essential to _actually_ being capable of playing the game without confusion—and in less than a minute, he was able to get his character to swim like an actual… human? He wasn’t really sure what to say, but damn, his character swam better than before.

 

“This game is too complicated,” he said, a childish pout forming on his lips as he spoke once finishing his round thus ending the first round. Of course, Haru won that round.

 

“No, you’re just bad.”

 

“I am _not_ bad!” Makoto squeaked, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. The timer was counting down from 20 seconds, already on 16. “These instructions are bad, not me! It’s not my fault they can’t explain how to use the keys properly.” Makoto huffed into the mic, slouching a bit in his chair as he continued to speak and deny his horrible skills.

 

“Okay,” Haru said, and for a moment, Makoto thought that was all he was going to say before he heard a small intake of breath on his end. “You’re both equally as bad, better?”

 

Now, Makoto knew Haru was teasing him. What if Haru was smirking or something on the other end, enjoying Makoto’s shame and embarrassment at being incapable of playing a simulator game? Makoto grumbled lowly, although a small smile was rising on his lips. Is this what it’s like to have a friend? Wait, was Haru even his friend?

 

“Hey, Haru,” Makoto said slowly, his tone filled with uncertainty and a hint of nervousness.

_10_

 

_9_

 

_8_

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Can I ask you a question?” He said, swallowing past the small lump that had formed in his throat. It was just a question, it’s not like he was confessing his deepest darkest secret or anything to him. Although he thought he was overreacting at just wanting to ask a question, what if Haru told him the answer he didn’t want to hear? God, that’d be horrible.

_5_

 

_4_

 

He was regretting asking the question already, and it wasn’t even asked.

 

“Are we friends?” He said, wincing slightly at the way his voice rose during the end. He stomach began to turn, folding into itself as he pondered what Haru was going to say. Maybe it was no. It _should_ be no. Haru doesn’t even know him that much and they only met around 2 weeks ago or something. Makoto tried to brace himself to the answer that he knew was inevitable, but alas, he didn’t need to, as the next thing that came out of Haru’s mouth was nothing but,

 

“Yes.”

 

1

 

START!

* * *

 

 

“I’ve been thinking,” his mother said softly, her head unusually down as she looked into the bowl and stirred its contents with her spoon, not even bothering to lift anything up and eat it. The house was just as quiet as her voice, seeing as the twins were out spending the night with their friends. It worried Makoto sometimes, seeing as to how they were out the majority of times and it also made him a bit upset. “Maybe we should move somewhere more… peaceful…and cheaper.”

 

Makoto instantly looked up at his mother, meeting her eyes with his and held her gaze. He was a bit shocked at the idea of moving, but did they really have the money to even move? Let alone, get a new apartment and have to worry about paying this month off—which they were already struggling to do—and getting money to move their stuff from here into their new home? They could barely support themselves when it came to food supply, how could they support themselves if they moved?

 

“Mom, you know…” Makoto let his voice trail off, not really wanting to bring his mothers’ hopes down by telling her no, that they couldn’t move. Instead, he fed her false hope like the horrible son he was, only wanting to tell her things that could help her get through the day, even if it meant lying. God, he was the worse.

 

“That sounds like a wonderful idea!” He said, instead, letting his voice fill with hope, albeit it being fake. “Where do you think we would move to, though?” He asked after shoving another spoonful of chicken soup into his mouth.

 

“Oh,” his mother said, her eyes bright and the worry that were in them ceased to exist at Makoto’s “happiness.” “I was talking to the neighbor next door and she was going on about this place called Iwatobi. She said it was peaceful and relatively nice place to live and didn’t cost as much compared to here.”

 

Makoto had never heard of such a place, but if it was more peaceful than this, maybe his mother really _could_ settle down with the twins and have a nice comfortable stress-free life. No huge bills, no constant worrying, no anything. It sounded nice, it sounded like heaven. And anything that sounded remotely nice to Makoto would always end up being broken, so he refused to speak out his true feelings and encourage his mom to get a place out there. Sometimes, Makoto thought keeping quiet was the best way to go.

 

“Mmm,” Makoto hummed instead, his lips wrapped around his spoon as he ate and even though everything he seemed to like walked away from him or left completely, he allowed himself to have just a small bit of hope and that was enough.

 

He was fine with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry i havent updated in a while i just got this huge writers block but dont worry it wont happen again im writing the 4th chapter now and its going to get this story GOING woo! 
> 
> i hope you can forgive me, i love you all.  
> xoxo
> 
> toxichestia.tumblr.com
> 
> (my blog's a mess but i love it anyway.)
> 
> p.s. NEXT UPDATE, MONDAY.  
> p.p.s. (edit) oops, wednesday it is.


	4. Chapter (4)!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He stared at the sentence, realizing the mistake seconds too late already seeing Makoto’s username indicating that he was typing back. He cursed his trembling hands to hell and back and cursed himself for even responding to Makoto in the first place. But even so, a small part of him needed to talk to him, talk to anyone, really. It just so happened that Makoto was there, always listening, always worrying for others. He seemed to be the only person that Haru felt he could really reach out to, and with him being online, far far away from Haru, that made it even better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im trash for not updating forgive me

The blue eyed boy let a loud yawn slip past his lips, stretching as if he were a cat getting ready to lunge for its prey. He rubbed at his tired eyes, feeling as if he could practically make out the bags that were beneath them. He hasn’t been able to sleep good at all lately, only being able to get in 2-4 hours of sleep before waking up due to nightmares that haunted him even when he woke up from it. It hurt his already fucked up sleeping schedule to the point where Haru thought he would become an insomniac. Feeling sluggish, Haru blinked his eyes after rubbing them, letting them adjust to the morning light. It’s honestly been a while since he had woken up in the morning, instead of sleeping by that time.

_Brr….Brr…._

Haru heard the buzz of his phone, a bit glad that he had left it on vibrate. He rarely uses it, really. The only contacts on that phone were his parents, Rei, Nagisa, and some old friends that he doesn’t really talk to anymore. He grimaced at the thought of one of the boys he knew, always finding his presence a bit uncomfortable for him before picking up his phone to look at the Caller ID that read “ _Nagisa is Calling..”_. For a split moment, Haru was tempted not to pick up figuring it was too early in the morning to have his brain pierced with his loud voice but pushed that temptation down as he realized it could be something important. Letting out a small scoff at the thought of Nagisa _actually_ calling him for something important—which was close to absolutely 0—Haru picked up the phone, bracing himself for that loud energetic voice that he grew up with.

“Haruka-senpai?” The voice that drifted through the speaker into his ear was so pleasantly calm that Haru jumped a bit in surprise, not expecting it at all. He couldn’t help but find it weird that Rei was calling off of Nagisa’s phone, anyway. Dismissing the thoughts on why Rei was calling off of another’s phone, Haru let out a small hum, confirming that he was listening to whatever Rei was about to propose.

“I wanted to know if you would like to hang out with Nagisa and I today,” he spoke calmly and slowly, as if he _knew_ Haru had just woken up from his sleep, or, well, nap. “I seemed to have broken my phone after a, uh, little accident yesterday.”

Haru could practically sense Rei’s nervousness on the other end, so he decided against asking on what the “little accident” was. He assumed it had something to do with Nagisa, though. He was always prone to breaking things, especially if it wasn’t his. “Yes, I’m free,” was all Haru managed to say. He still felt sluggish, he still felt weak, but maybe that was because he was inside most of the time. He could swear that he was starting to not care about his body, and that’s something he definitely didn’t like. But of course, Rei and Nagisa didn’t need to know that.

“Great!” Rei spoke loudly, his voice clearly excited before coughing and clearing his throat and muttering a small apology. “We’ll stop around your house in, hm, about two hours. I-If that’s okay with you, I mean.”

Haru nodded his head, before realizing that he couldn’t see him so instead, he let out a small sigh and said yes once more before him and Rei exchanged their farewells—Rei, mostly. Well, only.—before hanging up. For a second, Haru wasn’t sure if the feeling he felt inside of his chest at that moment was annoyance of having to leave his home or pure happiness at being able to hang out with his friends again.

Both, he decided. Definitely both.

Before he could notice, Haru found himself stripped of clothes, completely nude as he stepped into the already almost full tub of water. He knew for a fact that once he submerged himself within the confines of the water, he’d spend an hour in it without even attempting to get out. But, usually, he thought of nothing while he was in the water but everything at the same time, too. It was confusing to him, but he never really delved into it deeper. He just didn’t care all that much. He tried not to think, sometimes, because all he could think of was horrible thoughts and when he did try to think, he just… couldn’t. His mind would sway, his eyes would droop, and he’d eventually feel himself slipping into darkness before he could even realize what was happening.

But now, he was thinking of everything all at once. He was thinking whether Rei and Nagisa were just hanging out with him because they noticed how lonely he was—he’d deny it, but it was the truth. He wondered if Makoto was actually his friend, or just someone that was too caring and liked to help everyone. Haru found that highly possible, but at the same time, highly unlikely. He tried to ignore all these depressing thoughts though, because he knew that if he actually gave into them and began to think that they were true, he’d only end up hurting himself.

Haru let out an annoyed sigh, sitting up in the water as he splashed some of it on his face. He already could feel the day weighing on him and it hasn’t even officially began. For once, he just wished that he could sleep without any taunting dreams or feeling paranoid for most of the night but that was just wishful thinking. Rolling his shoulders back, Haru let out another small yawn as he got out of the tub, getting ready to prepare for the rest of the day ahead.

..

Nagisa let out a low whistle, eyeing Haru up and down as if he were some parent looking over their children clothes and making sure they were presentable. Haru felt uncomfortable and a bit irritated at the actions, already anticipating what was about to come out of Nagisa’s mouth. He knew he didn’t look up to par, and he could already see Rei trying his best not to reprimand Haru into sleeping more or fixing his “fucked up” schedule. Nagisa clicked his tongue against his mouth in a mocking way, making a “tsk” sound repeatedly as he shook his head back and forth.

“You look terrible, Haru-chan,” he finally said, looking as if he pitied Haru’s current state. He hated it, but held his tongue and just chose the safer option of rolling his eyes. He didn’t answer back because he felt as if he might snap at him and ruin whatever mood that was going on for the rest of the day. Before Rei could say anything, Nagisa perked up, immediately turning back into his original exuberant state and waving his hands around as he began to speak fast.

“But that doesn’t matter, does it? You still look way better than Rei-chan!” Nagisa let out a loud laugh as Rei shoulders dropped, sulking before Nagisa nudged his side and the way Rei winced proved that it was nothing short of aggressive. “I’m just joking, silly. Anyway! Rei here broke his phone after we wen-“ Before Nagisa was able to finish his sentence, Rei immediately placed his hand over the smaller boy’s mouth, his face an embarrassing shade of red as he began to splutter out nonsensical excuses.

For once, Haru wasn’t sure what was happening. He was always able to grasp somewhat of a meaning from their regular antics back then but now, he was left completely confused. He wasn’t even sure if his brain was following the conversation at a regular pace. It felt as if it were skipping over words and he was only able to grasp bits and pieces, causing his head to break out into a small headache at just trying to make sense at what they were talking about. He decided to ignore them for now and ask them about this later, if he even cared to remember.

“That’s nice,” he said, his voice cutting through Rei’s splutters and Nagisa’s confused squeaking from having his mouth being blocked by Rei’s hand. “But, can we go now?” It’d be an understatement if Haru said that he didn’t look forward to actually spending a full day outside. He felt as if he were deprived of the world, or like he was a caged animal because that was sure how he felt right now. Rei nodded his head quickly, seeming to agree to the idea quickly as he grabbed Nagisa’s wrist and dragged him out the house and Haru smiled slightly, shaking his head and realizing how crazy they actually were.

 

Nagisa pointed at one of the flip phones on the shelf, looking at Rei with a joking grin. “That looks like the type of phone you’d have,” he spoke, his grin never once faltering as Rei looked down at him with a confused expression. Nagisa pretended to act like Rei, mocking the way he stood and holding up a non-existent phone to his ear as he spoke in a deep voice. “Yes, sir, this is Rei. Ah, I’ve got the documents all ready to go. Yes, mhm, when would you like me to bring them in, sir? Now? O-Oh, okay. Yes, good-“ Before Nagisa could finish his mock personality of Rei, he was shoved lightly by said man.

“What makes you think I sound or talk like that?” He said, sounding incredulous at Nagisa’s act but the small boy’s attention already drifted elsewhere as he continued looking through the store at all the different types of phones. From touchscreens, to keyboard phones, to flip phones, Nagisa seemed interested in all. Haru couldn’t find it in himself to really be active in their conversations or in what they were looking for until he heard Nagisa let out a squeal and call him over while waving his hand frantically. When Haru made it to Nagisa, the small over-energetic boy was pointing at one of the phone, jabbing the glass that encased it and for a moment, Haru feared that he would break it.

“Doesn’t this phone look so cool, Haru-chan!”

He looked at the phone actually now, instead of sparing it a small glance a he had with all the other phones Nagisa had pointed out as “so cool” because he seemed to do that with every phone in the store, well, besides the flip phones. The phone was touch-screen, the screen black with the case holding the phone a rose-petal colored red. He didn’t see what was so amazing about it, going to state that the phone was basically the same as all the others, just different colors, Nagisa began talking again. Haru clicked his tongue in annoyance, shaking his head and thinking to himself. “I swear to fuc-“

“….Rin,” Nagisa said loudly, a sudden realization coming to his eyes as he continued to jab at the glass. Rei grabbed Nagisa’s hand from abusing the glass further, probably thinking the same thing Haru was thinking not only two minutes ago. But now, his mind was somewhere far from the glass, but rather focused on Nagisa’s words. “Didn’t Rin have this phone, Haru-chan?”

Haru clenched his teeth, feeling his jaw tighten immediately at the name. He didn’t come out here for this, he didn’t want to even hear that name. “I don’t know,” he said instead, his voice sounding strained as he refused the urge to run away. Again.

“Oh,” Nagisa said, his voice going quiet as he continued to stare at the phone with immense concentration. “..Yes it was! Oh my god, Rei-chan this was so his phone! Do you think we should all, like, give him a call? It’s been forever.” By the end of his small rant, Nagisa began to sulk at his own suggestion. “Do you ever wonder why he doesn’t talk to us anymore?”

Haru felt an abrupt tugging feelings pull at his heart, watching Nagisa’s demeanor go from eccentric to downright depressing. Was this how he was when Haru stopped talking to them? He couldn’t even imagine it, he didn’t _want_ to imagine it. But even so, his desire to forget about Rin was stronger than the guilty feeling he was feeling for discarding Nagisa and Rei as if they were just strangers to him in his whole life. He wanted to blurt out the words, “I’m sorry,” just to make them know that he really was, but he couldn’t. He knew why Rin stopped talking to them, he knew everything and he hated it. If he could be in Nagisa’s place for only a second, clueless and ignorant, he would but then that’d mean Nagisa would have to be in _his_ place. He wouldn’t wish that on anybody, no matter how much he disliked them.

He could feel his sharp, unclipped nails threatening to cut into the skin of his palm. His emotions were a mess, now, and it was really pathetic to him. How can a name bring back such pain? Is this what may happen whenever someone dares even mentions him for a fleeting second, will he just break down and run away like.. He refused to think like that, refusing to lower his self-esteem like that. In the midst of thinking, Nagisa and Rei were already looking at him expectantly, as if he was to answer their question. _“Why?”_

Letting out a soft sigh, Haru spoke firmly not letting his inside emotions betray the tone of his voice. “I’m leaving, I have things to do.”

And with those strained words, Haru fled the shop. Running away was probably the most talented thing he could do on the list “Things Haru Can Do”. If they were to ask him what he enjoyed the most, he’d probably throw aside swimming and gaming and instead, he’d answer with “Running away,” because that was truly all he was good for. He knew for sure that running away wasn’t always the option, physically, but letting your mind run away was second best. He laughed to himself, hearing the sound caused him to flinch at how cold it was. He really was sad.

..

For a moment, Haru could hear footsteps approaching from behind him and his name being called with an urge of desperation. He just kept walking, not even bothering to look back at the person he knew was calling him. He thought that Nagisa would continue to pursue after him, considering how stubborn the small blond boy was, but the calls were silenced. Haru felt relieved, and well, a bit upset. Figuring Rei had stopped him, Haru pushed forward, all the while trying to not feel like he was going to fall.

..

The feelings of hands all over his skin was horrifying. He felt cold to the touch as he closed the door to his house, goosebumps rising on his skin despite the warmth of the air around him. It felt as if all of the coldness that was trying to escape from the heat was attracted to him. He ignored the small flashes of past memories that flitted through his vision. He ignored the sound of someone screaming, instead making his way to his computer. He realized as he sat down, that his hands were shaking mildly as he put on his headset and logged on.

Not soon after, he was presented with a message.

_(1) Friend Online… One new message!_

**Tachioto : ** _Hey, Haru! You haven’t been online all day so I was getting kinda worried, haha. It’s really unusual to see that._

 **Haruse00 : ** _I’m online now._

 **Tachioto : ** _Well, yeah! I found this weird game about building stuff and I wanted to see if you would play with me, seeing as it’s multiplayer._

 **Tachioto : ** _I mean, if you don’t have other things to do or play!_

Haru rolled his eyes, a barely there smile rising on his face as he went to type back, but was immediately reminded of the things he wanted to forget. “Shit!” Haru said, cursing loudly as he clenched his teeth and grinded them together. Why was this so hard? Willing himself to calm down, trying to shake the hands of people grabbing him off of him, Haru typed back. He was so thankful for the internet at times like these, because then people would never see him like this in his worst.

 **Haruse00 : ** _Dsurree,._

He stared at the sentence, realizing the mistake seconds too late already seeing Makoto’s username indicating that he was typing back. He cursed his trembling hands to hell and back and cursed himself for even responding to Makoto in the first place. But even so, a small part of him _needed_ to talk to him, talk to anyone, really. It just so happened that Makoto was there, always listening, always worrying for others. He seemed to be the only person that Haru felt he could really reach out to, and with him being online, far far away from Haru, that made it even better.

 **Tachioto : ** _Haru, are you okay? I don’t think that was a typo…_

Before Haru could register what he was doing, he was calling Makoto on skype, hoping to god that he would answer but his prayers were useless, because he knew Makoto would.

Haru held his head in his hands, not looking up at the screen in which he knew Makoto was _in_ there, looking at him with a worried expression and trying to understand what was wrong. Haru ran his fingers through his raven hair, pulling at it gently and letting out a slow breath, willing himself to calm down for about the hundredth time today. Slowly and carefully, he looked up at his screen to see Makoto.

“Hello,” he said, pretending as if he wasn’t just trying to secretly calm himself down in front of someone who saw everything.

“Don’t say hello,” Makoto spoke, exasperated as he shook his head, a small laugh leaving his lips as he covered his mouth immediately muttering a meek apology. It made Haru smile. Not a small smile, an honest to god smile that felt unnatural on his lips. “A-Anyway, are you okay? Is something wrong?”

Haru looked down at his desk, messing with the string of the mouse that was connected to his computer, bending it unconsciously without even realizing that he could damage it and have to buy a new one. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t even know how he felt to respond to Makoto’s first question. Haru couldn’t deny the fact that he felt like a child under Makoto’s gaze.

“No… and… yes,” he said finally, trying to keep his answers short and to the point. He tried to keep what little of himself he had left before losing it. He felt distant, like he wasn’t even in his own body anymore, like he was someone else.

Makoto stayed silent, possibly signaling that he was listening or rather just thinking of why Haru was acting like this. Hell, if he was in Makoto’s place, he’d be wondering the same thing, too.

“Today I was hanging out with my… friends, and well, one of them seemed to break their phone so we all went to a phone store to go get him a new one,” Haru clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, laughing a bit at remembering the way Nagisa was mocking Rei. It wasn’t so funny back then, but it was definitely funny now. “When we got there, one of them was pointing at all the phones, mocking my other friend and well, just being hyper in general. He made me have a headache, to say the least. And, um,” Haru wasn’t used to all this talking. He felt like shutting up and just staying silent, but he willed himself to talk more, to tell someone. “He pointed at one of the phones and brought up someone’s name…Rin…and then got all sad. This person was someone I tried to forget for so long, Makoto. He…”

Trailing off, Haru didn’t feel like talking anymore. He wanted to hide, to run away again, to wish he never even called Makoto in the first place. All his thoughts about telling someone was slowly leaving him and his doubts began to take root in its place.

“You don’t have to keep going, Haru…”

“No, I…He well, he hurt me. Bad. I just-“ Haru sentenced was cut off as he felt a lump form in his throat, ridding him from forming complete sentences completely. He let out a small groan, laying his head on the desk, not once sparing at glance at Makoto. Even though he only told him a small inkling of the bigger picture, he felt slightly better. Better because he finally told somebody _something_ and a bit worse because now maybe Makoto was expecting Haru to tell him the whole thing later on. He wasn’t ready for that. He thought he never _could_ be ready.

The call was silent, void of any words spoken between the two before Makoto finally spoke up.

“I’m not going to say I understand how you feel completely,” he began, his voice soft. Haru thought that Makoto would push him to talk further, chastise him for thinking about past things, but he didn’t. “But I do understand what it feel likes to be hurt…”

Makoto continued on, and Haru finally picked up his head to watch him. “I don’t really have the best life, either. It’s tiring sometimes to not be able to tell anyone how you feel in fear that they would look at you a different way, you know?” He said, and for once, Haru felt as if Makoto was standing right in front of him, his eyes penetrating into his and uncovering every secret Haru had tried so hard to keep hidden. “Or when everyone you grow close to ends up leaving you the exact same ways. Ignoring you, never speaking to you again, or just…leaving. It hurts, Haru.” His voice grew small and meek. “It hurts a lot… and well, that’s why I understand. I hate that feeling, I hate it so much and yet it comes natural to so many people and it’s…sickening. I don’t want anyone to feel that way but it comes just as easily as happiness but causes destruction in its wake.”

Haru watched as Makoto rubbed his cheek with his hand, causing it to turn red due to the friction. “Well, this is getting a bit too sad,” he said, laughing although it held no humor as he shifted the conversation. “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

Feeling glad for the change of the subject, Haru nodded his head, signaling for Makoto to ask him the question.

“Where the hell did you find that simulator at?”

All at once, Haru felt actually happy. Fine, content, satisfied. All the emotions in him were hard to explain, but they weren’t unwelcomed. This time, the laugh he let out was genuine and all he could think about was how much he appreciated the person on the other end. Sure, he didn’t know much about him nor did he know much about Haru but he knew that wouldn’t last long. As he answered him back, saying that he found it while looking for some other random game, a sudden question came to his mind.

“How did we become friends?”


	5. Chapter (5)!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've seen you before.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, i dont update consistently.   
> sue me.

"Ah! Yes, here you go! Have a nice day, ma'am," letting a sigh leave his lips once the lady walked out of the door of the store, Makoto let himself relax for a split second. His shoulders slouched down and he tilted his head from side to side to get rid of the tense feeling that was straining it. His eyelids felt heavy, as if they were going to shut any moment and he'd drift off into an uncomfortable sleep but he resisted the urge and stood up straighter. Squaring his shoulders and blinking rapidly, Makoto put on a smile at the new customer that came through the door. He knew that he shouldn't have slept so late but he was having way too much fun playing games, with Haru, of course. As he began to pour the black coffee in the cheap, paper-like cup, he briefly contemplated going easy on the gaming. It was doing more harm to him then good. It made him forget to do things that were actually a priority, such as looking after his family. He considered himself lucky being able to find a job at some lowly Cafe that attracted little to none customers. It didn't pay well at all, but, it was something. For now. He needed all the money that he could get and if it meant working at a lousy Cafe, he'd do it. Desperation was probably the only thing helping him through. He couldn't even count the number of times he's seen an unfamiliar bug on the floor or in the corners of the store on his hands. 

 

Handing the cup of black coffee to the customer, Makoto gave them a smile as he took the money which happened to be the right amount--sparing him of having to work with the confusing register--and watched them walk out. It was confusing that people actually bothered to stop in here for coffee, but the prices were rather nice. 

 

Now that the place was empty again, Makoto leaned his elbows on the counter, watching the people outside pass by the store without even taking a mere glance. Today was slower than usual, which meant today was  _really_ slow.  He let his eyelids fall shut, embracing the immediate feeling of pleasure at the thoughts of being able to doze off for just a second before hearing the chime of the bell that hung right above the door entrance. Straightening himself up, he smiled once more at the customer that came in, taking a second glance at the vivid color of their red hair. "Oh my," he muttered to himself lowly before composing his curious expression and pretending to act clueless. As if it was natural to see people with red hair everyday. 

 

_Yeah right._

 

As they began to order what they wanted, Makoto couldn't help but stare at the sharpness of their teeth. This person was definitely a whole different character. Why would anyone want teeth that sharp? 

 

As a million questions flew through his head, he began preparing the coffee adding a "whole bunch of sugar" and "a lot of fucking milk, okay?" and began to stir it up, humming underneath his breath before going back to the counter and presenting his customer with the coffee. He watched the red head take a sip of it before making a small face and shrugging and giving him 5 dollar bill. The guy began to walk away, and before Makoto could even tell him the coffee was $2.50 , he already left the store. 

 

..

 

"I have some good news," the sound of his mother's voice broke through the chatter that was happening at an incredible pace between Ren and Ran. Makoto only assumed it was an argument, hearing Ren's absurd voice as he protested against anything his sister was saying and for once, Makoto did not want to be involved with it. The last time he tried to stop them, he tried to make him pick sides and when he wouldn't choose either of them, they had come together and came to the conclusion that Makoto disliked them. 

 

As the table grew quiet, Makoto looked up at his mother who seemed vivid as always but with a tad bit more excitement. 

 

"We're moving," she said, her voice sounding incredibly high pitched as the smile on her lips grew into an outright grin. Ren stared at his mother in shock for a split second before jumping up out of his seat excitedly, his expression soon matching her. Ran could only stare at her mother, expecting her to say it was a joke in the end but when she didn't say anything for a whole minute, Ran took that as a conformation that this was indeed happening. She joined Ren in his silly dance and Makoto couldn't help but let out a small laugh. They were really getting too old to be doing such childish things, and yet, he didn't want them to stop. 

 

"Remember what I was telling you about a few days ago, Makoto?" Digging through his thoughts, Makoto could vaguely remember his mother mentioning something about the neighbor telling her about a nice place. He just couldn't really remember the name, seeing as to how he didn't expect for them to actually be moving anywhere. 

 

"About the neighbor telling you about some place...?" Makoto's voice sounded unsure as he continued to study his mother and the rare amount of happiness that she showed.  

 

"Yes! That's exactly the one dear," she took a sip of her tea before continuing to speak. "The houses out there are way cheaper than I had anticipated. I thought she was just bluffing because she just  _loves_ to gossip and whatnot but it's true. I was on your computer--only for a second!--to go look up the place called Iwatobi and honey, it looks so peaceful and the houses look absolutely cozy. There was this one house that was going for sale as the last people that lived there were moving out and I decided to rent it for us!" 

 

A genuine smile rose of Makoto's face and his heart sped up ever so slightly. This was actually happening. He tried to push down the uneasy feeling in his stomach at the thought of  _where_ his mother could have possibly got the money to do this but he didn't worry on it for now. They wouldn't have to live in this cramped apartment anymore and that was enough for him. Finishing his food, Makoto stood from the table minutes later and announced his leave before departing into his bedroom. He contemplated briefly about going on his computer or going to sleep before deciding on the former. He logged onto his account, humming to himself as he put on his headphones, looking for that one specific person. 

 

_(21) Friend(s) Online!_

 

Clicking the name that was added to his favorites list, he began typing.

 

**Tachioto** **:** _Hi, Haru._

 

**Haruse00:**   _Makoto._

 

Letting out a small chuckle at the tense response, Makoto's fingers hovered over the keyboard for a split second as he decided on what he should right out next but that was no use as he saw that Haru was still typing. 

 

**Haruse00:**   _Skype me._

 

Typing out an unsure "..Okay.." Makoto opened up the skype application, albeit a bit nervous as he called Haru, waiting for him to pick up. He still wasn't used to this whole Skype thing, nor does he think he ever will be. Haru picked up around the fourth ring and the only thing that Makoto could see was a hand drawn picture. He didn't know what it was of, but it looked like a bird.. in water? 

 

"..Haru?" He said slowly, staring at the picture that made little to no sense to him. "What is this?"

 

"A game," the man replied, his voice tenser than usual. Makoto picked up on it quickly and raised an eyebrow at it. "We are going to make a game, Makoto. Don't worry, this will be a free game." 

 

Makoto blinked, clearly confused by the whole ordeal. He had no idea what Haru was going on about. He didn't even remember agreeing to make a game with Haru. Still, he slowly nodded and hummed softly, pretending as if he knew exactly what was going on. After all, he was specialized in stuff like acting. 

 

"Of course, Haru," he spoke quietly, before continuing to speak. "But first, I wanted to tell you that I might not be on for a couple of days or so. Or a week.. or two we-"

 

"Why?" 

 

The demanding voice startled Makoto and he couldn't help but feel his heart race a bit. Was Haru concerned? That'd be cute. He never really had a friend worry over him before. Dismissing those thoughts from his head, Makoto continued to speak. "I'm going to be moving, soon, I suspect. And of course, I have to start packing and you know.. do stuff that people usually do when they move?" 

 

"Oh," was all Haru said. "When you come back online, we're going to make this game okay? I have it all planned out. I spent a good few hours on this, even opting out of taking a bath." Makoto refused the urge to laugh at how childish Haru was acting in this moment. He was sure Haru didn't even know or have the programs needed to make a game, or the money. Haru was always impatient whenever Makoto would take long to do something, and making a game took a copious amount of patience. That was something Haru lacked in and if a game is rushed, it may turn out to be incredibly bad. Even so, Makoto didn't want to let him down by telling him that making the game was near impossible once seeing the determination that had set in those blue eyes. After agreeing with him, Haru just stared at Makoto, causing him to grow a bit uncomfortable. His cheeks reddened under the intense gaze as he shifted slightly in his seat. "U-Um.."

 

"You look familiar," Haru said slowly, continuing to stare. 

 

"Oh?"

 

"Yes. I've seen you before, not on this video thing, but in.. real..." Haru's voice drifted off as if he was searching through his mind trying to grasp the memory before shrugging it off. He probably just suspected that he had seen someone that looked like Makoto. That happened often to him. "Whatever." 

 

Meanwhile, Haru began talking about  _their_ game and how it would go which was highly unusual of him. He rarely talks a lot but Makoto just shrugged it off. Haru was probably excited at the prospect of making his own game. Which, no doubt, made him talk more. Makoto couldn't seem to get his mind off of what Haru had said before. Seen him somewhere? He was for sure that he had never saw Haru anywhere once. The last time he remembered, his memory was quite good. As he pondered where he could have seen Haru, it made him think about how he was Haru's friend. On his friends list, of course. There's no way he could just randomly pop up in someone's list. That's highly improbable. Maybe he has seen Haru before. When Haru had asked him that question a few days ago, Makoto couldn't provide him with an answer. As embarrassing as the was, it was true. He never remembered friending Haru at all. Feeling fatigue wear at him, Makoto let out a small yawn and waited for Haru to finish speaking before announcing that he was going to bed. 

 

"Okay. Good. You looked bad anyway," Haru stated simply. 

 

"What..?!" Makoto felt his cheeks redden as he covered his face. He knew today was not his best day.

 

"Not bad as in ugly or whatever, just tired." 

 

Letting out a small groan, Makoto shook his head and rubbed at his eyes. The desire to sleep was incredibly strong. He didn't even bother saying anything back besides a small goodnight. After shutting down his computer, he lied down in his bed, feeling completely satisfied. He let his body grow numb as he stopped moving and drifted off into a deep sleep. 

 

"I'll just call in sick..tomorrow.." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i went to c/p this chapter and had a mini heart attack because i thought i just deleted it but it turns out I didn't. thank god.   
> i've been missing for quite some time now and i wont ask for your forgiveness. this was just a short update and im sorry. ive decided that this story wont be quite as long as i planned it out to be, sadly. i have a small feeling there might be something nsfw in the next chapter !!!  
> (im gonna recommend an anime for you all to watch: osomatsu-san. its amazing, its beautiful, it is so ugh. i dedicated my life to it. im stuck.)
> 
> contact me at http://www.toxichestia.tumblr.com if you have any questions or just wanna talk to me and question why i rarely update. i love you all lots, really. <3


	6. (6)!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Haru wrapped his arms around himself, slouching down and shaking. He couldn't continue. His throat tightened and his eyes felt wetter by the minute. He felt like throwing up as he recalled the feel of hands pressed against his bare skin. The sick feeling that accompanied that thought made Haru press a hand over his mouth. He breathed quickly through his nostrils and felt overall panicked. 
> 
> "Nanase..Nanase please, calm down,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello  
> it me -_-
> 
> (please ignore any typos -v-'')

Haru had never really thought about the idea of moving. He never cared to even think about it, assuming he'd live in the house he grew up in forever. Although everyone around him were moving constantly; growing up and finding new ambitions to take on head first, he was always stuck in the same loop. It's like one of those dreams where everyone around you is running and yet you can't. You try to run but your legs won't cooperate, you feel sluggish, slow until well, you finally accept your fate. That thing everyone is running from will catch you because you're too slow. That thing everyone is trying to reach will fall into someone's elses hands because you weren't quick enough. It's frustrating beyond belief, which is why Haru always neglected those thoughts. Although graduating from high school was a huge relief, the thoughts of having to get a more stable job and actually face the adult world was something that outweighed Haru's relief with mere neglect and anxiety. He wasn't ready. He didn't feel ready. He didn't even have an idea in mind of what he wanted to be, what he wanted to achieve. 

And so, he's stuck in this repetitive loop that won't stop and that he doesn't pursue to stop. 

As Haru sat on his bed, his sketchbook laid in his lap with his fingers gripping the mechanical pencil, he was left to ponder his own thoughts. The blank page was asking to be filled in, to be drawn on, and yet he didn't know what to draw. Searching his mind for something creative, his mind clicked on one image. He began to sketch out his thoughts loosely with the pencil, making sure to leave everything light and obviously messy so that he can go back in and fill in more specific details later. Sketching always allowed him to think more freely, just as with swimming but a bit more subdued. His thoughts drifted off into another 'growing up' thing. Maybe he should find a job that would accept a newly graduate. Or rather he should go to college, assuming it's not too expensive. Or maybe he could move just as Makoto is and decide from there. 

All these thoughts started to hurt his head but it wasn't as if he could shut them off. Some of these thoughts made his chest ache and immediately fear anything related to growing up. He couldn't really place why he was so anxious nor did he want to. 

_"Just be whatever the fuck you want, Haru,"_ the voice was familiar and it felt as if it was spoken right into his ear. _"Stop stressing over such things. You'll be fine! After all, I'm here of course."_ The joking laugh that followed made Haru shudder and cringe, making his pencil cause a mistake in the sketchy drawing. 

Ever so often he was reminded of Rin, who invaded his mind every few hours and caused his mood to worsen or drop down by about 50%. Although, those thoughts have been coming less frequently than before and Haru was glad, somewhat. He wanted to forget him and all the trouble he placed on Haru and yet at the same time, he didn't. He feared that if he were to forget who Rin was he'd lose himself in the process, and that was truly scary. Clenching his teeth, Haru set down his sketchbook and pencil beside him and stood from his bed. He needed something to do, something to take his mind off things now that Makoto was currently packing to move somewhere.   
That feeling of needing to tell someone something has never been so strong before now in his life.

 

-

 

Haru looked down at the card that was shoved into his hand by a guy holding a stack of the same exact card, reading the information. He was just about to give it back, but changed his mind after seeing that one word.

 

-

 

"This is ridiculous," he thought to himself as he sat in a black plastic chair of a pristine white room. There were others lounging in the room placed in other chairs, some of them looking more worn out than himself. He eyed the people that were hunched over in the seat, some toying with the sleeve of their sweater, or generally looked...depressed. Although these people put him off a bit, he couldn't help but relate to them in a way.

As he leaned his head back, letting it thump lightly against the wall, Haru stared up at the ceiling waiting for his name to be called. He didn't need to do this. If he wanted to talk, he could've talked to Nagisa or Rei.. The thought of telling them caused his chest to ache and prick with fear. What if they judged him? What if they scolded him for being childish and worrying over nothing? Haru wanted to curl into himself but instead, took a deep breath.

This was for the best. Maybe soon he could build up the confidence to tell Nagisa and Rei and apologize correctly, but for now, this will do.

 

-

 

"Haruka..Nanase?" 

Haru stood at the mention of his voice and followed after the lady who led him to a room with a nameplate placed in the top center. As he read it, his stomach dropped. This is not happening. 

For once in his life, Haru actually felt like he should've actually paid more attention to the card he was given. Maybe he should have read the therapists' name. 

Taking in a deep breath, Haru willed himself not to run away. He wanted to talk and that is exactly what he will do. Running away is not an option today, he thought. As he walked into the room, head held a bit too high Haru tried to avoid his old homeroom teacher's stare. He remembered her quiting but he did not know she was going to take up becoming a therapist. 

As he took a seat in the black chair seated in front of her desk, Haru placed his hand in his lap while clenching his fists. He slowly brought his gaze to her, her smile sweet as ever and her eyes a chocolaty warm brown. Instantly, he felt a bit at ease. 

"Hello, Nanase," her voice soothed Haru's nerves more, causing him to become less tense and breathe more freely. "How about we just jump right into it, shall we? There's really no need for introductions." 

As he stared into her eyes, he started to remember the swim club that he was in, even if it only lasted a short while it was still fresh in his mind. He remembered Nagisa prompting the idea one day and just going completely bonkers over it and even begging Gou to be the manager and pestering Rin who was in track at the time to join, too.

Disregarding the unimportant thoughts, Haru took in a deep breath and cleared his throat. 

"Well.. I.. um..uh," Haru involuntarily cringed at the way he was stuttering to get out his words. This was harder than he originally thought it would be. He knew it wouldn't be a piece of cake but.. 

"How about we start off with simple things such as names of the people associated with your thoughts or maybe a thing," Amakata seemed to have a large amount of patience and Haru was genuinely surprised she didn't use a scare tactic to get her way or for him to open up. 

"..." Haru stood silent before sighing and speaking again. "Rin...Rin is the main one in this." 

All the while, Amakata stood silent only nodding her head, encouraging him to speak more.

"Well, um, Rin you know, came back from Australia and well.. changed me?" Haru was so confused as to how he should word his thoughts but after a minute, he decided to give up and ramble off anything that came to mind. "He turned me into a completely different person, he switched my routine around and caused havoc. He was annoying, irritating, and yet I couldn't help but feel excited. Relieved? Pained? Guilty for not ever reaching out to him while he was out there? I don't know. But when he returned, it was weird. The first thing he did was challenge me to a race and he looked completely different." 

Haru looked up at the ceiling and let out a small laugh, rubbing the side of his neck with his hand.

"Well, things started to get a bit more.. fierce from there I guess. With the whole swim club starting up I was able to go up against him more for a bit a time and it made me truly happy. I finally got to swim with him again after so long and it was great.. and yet.. it was as if he didn't feel the same way. It was like he hated me, you know? I mean, I don't blame him.. But soon, the swim club just.. disbanded and I was a bit upset for a while but I still had Nagisa and Rei. I thought that was the last I would see of Rin but instead, he actually confronted me and.. I.. ugh. Well, we actually started to act more like friends than rivals. It was so.. great.. nice? I can't really describe the feeling but I felt complete. We hung out for a few months and then one night-" 

Haru stopped talking, his words getting stuck in his throat as he tried to recall the events. He didn't even realize how much he was rambling until that point. It was as if Amakata wasn't even in the room hearing his words. He still felt that heavy weight on his shoulders and for a split second, he thought this wasn't working. Maybe talking to a therapist wasn't what would automatically fix him. It was rather naive of him to think so, too. 

"It's okay, Nanase," Amakata's soft tone made Haru relax a bit. "Just take a deep breath and go slow, I don't mind. You don't have to tell me today or even in the next week but just know that I'll be here." 

Taking in a deep breath as she had instructed, Haru began to speak again but incredibly slower. He wanted to get this off his chest _now_. Not tomorrow, not next week, not anything. 

"One night, Rin and I were just walking back to my house when- I-.. I don't know.. everything went black for some reason.. I-I woke up and I couldn't see anything," Haru dared a small glance at Amakata to see her looking more into it as he continued on. What if she thought this was all a joke? The thought just made him sick to the stomach. "It was..really cold and I tried to speak but..m-my mouth was covered, too. I didn't think I ever felt that scared in my life. And then, all I felt were.. were hands..and-"   
Haru wrapped his arms around himself, slouching down and shaking. He couldn't continue. His throat tightened and his eyes felt wetter by the minute. He felt like throwing up as he recalled the feel of hands pressed against his bare skin. The sick feeling that accompanied that thought made Haru press a hand over his mouth. He breathed quickly through his nostrils and felt overall panicked. 

"Nanase..Nanase please, calm down," Amakata's voice was still held in that soft tone but with a hint of panic and pity laced into it. Haru instantly hated it but yet those words didn't quite reach his ears. His skin felt hot and cold at the same time and he didn't like it at all. "Look at me, Nanase." 

Haru kept his head down, still breathing harshly. 

"Look. At. Me."

Instantly, Haru lifted his head at the commanding voice to see Amakata frowning at him and the words that were leaving her mouth were calm assurances that he would be okay. It helped calm him down and bring his breathing back to normal--or well, as normal as it would get--and he felt completely tired now. He just wanted to leave. He wanted to lay in his bed and just curl up against himself until he scolded himself into not giving into such sadness. 

Haru stood from the chair, giving Amakata a small bow before quickly exiting the room. His hands shook at his sides a bit so he resorted into shoving them in the pockets of his jeans as he made his way home, not even once thinking about going back ever again.

 

-

 

Makoto wiped a bit of sweat off his brow as he got the last of his things packed in boxes. It's been about 3 days now that he hasn't been online, being too busy with other things such as packing and worrying about how things were going to go. Even if he wanted to go online, he packed his computer and stuff first so that was knocked out of the equation real quick. 

Peeking into Ren and Ran's room, Makoto saw that they were almost done packing too. Leaving them be, he wandered to where his mother was which was inside her room and knocked on the door even though it was wide open. 

"Makoto, dear," she glanced over at him and gave his a sweet smile. "Do you mind helping me pack up the vases on the dresser over there?" Makoto shook his head and walked over to the dresser with an empty box in hand and began to carefully place the vases inside. Bubble wrap would have been a major comfort for not having to worry about these breaking but almost half the money they had was going to the moving truck and whatnot. 

"Are we going to be living out there indefinite?" Makoto spewed out a random question as he continued to carefully place vases inside the box. 

"..I don't know.."

Makoto stood quiet for the rest of the time, humming only a small bit as he thought about that now he had to find a new job all over again. He didn't really mind but it sure would be troubling. He listened to his mother speak about them moving in 2 more days and he couldn't help but feel a bit relieved. He was getting tired of seeing all these boxes, really. 

He just hopes it all goes well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> huzzah!   
> here's an update upupupu.   
> i just really thought that haru needed more depth as a character (in my fic ofc) and more of a background as to why he's so secluded! i gave u guys another sneak peek which is a big sneak peek but STILL a sneak peek (lol). And now we finally get to know when Makoto will commence his moving -v-'' yay? who knows what might happen hehehe   
> anyway, i can't believe this has over 150+ kudos! I'm so thrilled that people actually enjoy this story. it warms my heart so much so thank you so so so so much and those who comment can have all my hugs and kisses! <3 
> 
> -
> 
> IG: @Manokochi (i draw shit here if u wanna follow or somethin)   
> Tumblr: toxichestia.tumblr.com (i reblog a bunch of anime trash rip.) 
> 
> -
> 
> I LOVE YOU ALL <3.


	7. Chapter (7)!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haruse00: Should I just end all of my sentences with ";)"? "If it's please you".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im back after a month (nearly).  
> I hate myself and my bad updating ways. ):
> 
> (NOW WITH MORE REI AND NAGISA...and typos maybe)

"Ne," Nagisa's perky voice spoke up and cut through the silence that engulfed the three of them. Nagisa, Rei, and Haru were sitting on a bench in one of the nearby parks but instead of talking to one another, it was unusually silent. Haru wasn't really sure how he should act; questioning whether he should speak up and initiate the conversation between them once struck his mind but left quickly. But now, it seemed as if he didn't need to do that.

"Haru-chan," the blonde boy who was seated in the middle leaned over a bit to get a direct view of Haru's face. Haru of course didn't answer, continuing to stare into oblivion and engage himself with his thoughts, only giving a small bit of attention to Nagisa and what he was about to say. "Do you still like to swim?"

"...What?"

Haru's voice was hinted with a slight bit of confusion at the odd question and he was a bit taken aback.

"I never, ever, ever, ever, see you swim anymore," Nagisa's lips turned downwards into a pout and Haru felt the need to roll his eyes. Although, he kind of realized that what Nagisa was saying was exceptionally true. He hasn't gone swimming in a while, but it wasn't because he didn't enjoy it anymore.. he just.. he really didn't know. He just didn't feel as compelled to swim anymore as he had before.

"I still swim," he stated finally, shrugging his shoulder a bit as a small gesture for Nagisa to back up a little because he was coming a bit too close for comfort. He could see the light in Nagisa's eyes brighten with a million questions that he was about to spew but he put it to a quick stop. "I play games."

That effectively caused Nagisa to stop whatever he was thinking.

"Games?" Rei asked, finally speaking up after such a long time.

"Yes. Games."

"Do you play online games a lot?" Nagisa asked quickly, suddenly growing engrossed in the new topic that arose. "With like, all the people screaming in the mic about team work and stuff?"

"..." Haru scrunched his eyebrows together, growing more confused by Nagisa's absurd questions. Where did he even learn that online games was just screaming plans and compliments at one another? "Yes.. and no."

"You should show us some games, Haru-chan," Nagisa slouched in his seat a bit before jumping up out of it, causing Haru to grow a bit scared. He always hated jumpscares. "Oh! Why don't we just go to your house and play some games now? That'll be fun."

"Nagisa, I don't think you should make proposals like that out of the bl-" Rei began speak but was cut off by Nagisa's insistent chattering of _"Oh, don't worry about it."_ and _"Haru-chan doesn't mind!"_ Yet again, as Nagisa pulled Haru up out of his seat, he was left without a choice. He could tell them no and move on with his life but after last time, he really didn't feel like upsetting anyone. Haru let a small sigh slip past his lips and the three of them began to walk back to Haru's house.

Surprisingly, unlike in the park where it was just silent, now it's just constant chatter.

 

-

 

"And then, she asked me if she could paint my nails! And you know what I said, Rei-chan?"

"No, please, enlighten me.."

"Of course!"

The talk between Rei and Nagisa--which was mostly Nagisa--was a bit entertaining. They weren't far from his house but this walk seemed to take quite a while due to the pace they were walking at. It wasn't rushed, just slow and relaxed. It was nice, and somewhat calming if you put aside the fact that Nagisa wouldn't stop talking.

Haru was taking in his surroundings although he knew this place incredibly well. There was little to no people walking around them which wasn't really strange for Haru at all. This part of Iwatobi was mostly reserved and he favored it that way. Although Haru assumed it was only them walking about, he saw a figure in the distance which peaked slight curiosity within him. But as they got closer, Haru realized the person was in fact not walking towards them, but away.

"Ooh, that's some nice red hair~" Nagisa said, presumably pointing out the person's hair that was way in front of them. Haru questioned how well Nagisa's eyesight really was or if he was just seeing things. "I wish you had red hair, Rei-chan. It's just a boring, weird blue color."

Haru decided to tune the both of them out again, sensing that a "debate" was about to arise between the two.

After a short while of walking, they finally made it to Haru's house. Unlocking it and opening the door, Haru stepped in and let out a small breath he wasn't aware that he was holding in. He always found some sort of comfort within his own home. Just being near it brought him a resemblance of peace. Guiding the two to the living room, Nagisa ran straight for the computer. This resulted in the exuberant boy to jump into the chair and successfully manage to stay put for about a few seconds before sliding off onto the floor.

"I don't understand how we're going to this," Haru said, at last. He watched Nagisa fumble with turning on the computer and moving the mouse to random places on the screen, clicking everything else but the folders that occupied the desktop screen. It was a bit entertaining, for a short while.

"Okay, move," Haru watched Nagisa pout and complain about how he was "too mean". Seating himself in the chair, Haru quickly logged onto his gaming site while Rei and Nagisa were almost quite literally leaning on his shoulders and staring at the screen. He was compelled to ask whether they ever actually used a computer but decided against it at the last minute, knowing how stupid that question would have seemed. He was just incredibly confused at how infatuated they was with it at the moment. Scrolling through his games like he has done many times before when he wasn't sure what he should play--or they, should play--before catching a small glimpse of his (0) Friend(s) online turn into a 1.

Haru wasn't sure how he felt in that moment. It was something that wouldn't make sense when explained. It was like his stomach dropped just a tiny bit and everything just got more brighter. It was stupid, but there was only one person that could actually be online. He hasn't spoken to Makoto in a short while and if he was back online, of course he'd be glad. He should be glad.. right?

 

(1) Friend online... One new message!

 

 **Tachioto:** _Did you know how hard it is to move? Oh my god, Haru.. ugh.. I'm so tired.._

 

Immediately, Haru regretted opening the message.

"Oh my god," Nagisa said loudly, causing Haru to wince because it sounded directly into his ears. "Is that.. a friend? Who is that, Haru-chan? Are they some mysterious lover we don't know about?" Haru wanted to sink down in his chair until he was gone. He knew for sure that Nagisa would never stop asking about Makoto, especially since he's supposedly "a friend".

"Nagisa, please," Rei said, trying to reason with the blond who was overly excited at such a thing. "You don't need to act so unseemly. I am sure that if Haru gained a friend he would've told us! This may just be some random person, you know?"

Haru definitely felt like disappearing now. He was somewhat depending on Rei to tell Nagisa to just forget it but now, there was no hope. He knew that he could just explain who Makoto was and get this over with but deep down, he really didn't. Maybe he was being a bit selfish, but..

"He's one of my.. friends?" Haru sounded unsure of what to say to Nagisa and Rei about this. For some reason, he felt as if he'd been caught in an act. Like he was doing something he wasn't supposed to and finally somebody found him. Or rather, it felt like a secret was just given out. Haru couldn't help but feel a bit of annoyance towards himself and his attitude.

Ignoring Nagisa and Rei's words of "praise" he typed back.

 

**Haruse00:** _No, I've never moved before._

 

"That is such a boring reply, Haru-chan.." Nagisa's voice was tainted with disappointment. "Okay, move over a bit." Before Haru could even realize what Nagisa was talking about, his hands was pushed aside and replaced with Nagisa's who was typing quite fast.

 

**Haruse00:** _Oh no, of course not. Tell me more about this "moving" ;)))))_

 

"There! Much better." Nagisa stood back, clearly proud of what he's done. Meanwhile, Haru put his head in his hands and simply leaned forward, not once daring to look at the screen. It's not even about what he said that got him, it was the winky face that broke through and made him regret inviting the two--or well, Nagisa at least. As he was contemplating on how he should kick Nagisa out, the energetic and overly-pleased boy began to talk loudly.

"Oh, oh! He's replying, Rei, look!"

"Yes, I can tell. I wonder how he would act by such a message. That sounds nothing like Haruka-senpai, I'm afraid. He may know that it isn't him." Rei sounded concern as he stared at the screen, the both of them anticipating the reply Makoto would grace them with. It probably wouldn't be anything big, that's for sure.

 

**Tachioto : ** _Well, uh.......... we had to pack a lot of boxes and um.. put them in a truck and stuff...._

 

"He's just as boring as Haru-chan!" Nagisa sounded incredibly disappointed with Makoto's answer and that's what finally caused Haru to look up. "Oh wait, he's still replying!"

 

**Tachioto : ** _..... ;))))) (?)_

 

"He actually did it back, oh my god," Nagisa's voice cracked in the middle of his sentence as he gripped onto Haru's shoulder rather tight. All Haru felt at the moment was his chest tighten up and he felt the intense need to dunk himself in some cool water. It was clearly obvious that Makoto was confused by the winking face but the fact that he had reciprocated was beyond belief.

 

**Haruse00 : ** _Ooh, sounds interestiasmfmkk_

 

Haru moved Nagisa's hands away from the keyboard quicker than ever and gave him a short glare. "Don't." He has decided that Nagisa has caused enough damage for today.

"I didn't even do anything wrong," he said, sulking a bit and effectively making Haru feel just a tad bit guilty. "It was just harmless fun."

"Ah, yes, I somewhat agree with you on this Nagisa but let's take into the matter that this is Haruka-senpai's friend. Maybe you shouldn't have sent that winking face..thing, it can come off as rather suggestive," Rei said, fixing his glasses a bit and letting out a quiet sigh.

"Of course you'd know, Rei-chan," Nagisa threw back, winking over dramatically but that didn't cease the blush that formed on Rei's face. Sighing to himself, Haru typed a short reply to Makoto before closing out the chat window completely and picking a random game.

"Just..watch me for a bit. We'll take turns."

 

-

 

After about a few hours of non-stop gaming, Rei and Nagisa finally took their leave. Closing the door once the two left, Haru let his shoulder's sag as he finally became a bit more relaxed. Of course he had enjoyed spending time with them, but he just wasn't quipped with as much energy that Nagisa had to make any game seem lively or the talking that Rei was used to in order to make a lot of commentary to strike up a conversation.

Haru sat himself back down in his computer chair, finally opening back up the small window that showed his and Makoto's chat. There was a few messages questioning his abrupt leave before it stopped completely, which was over two hours ago. He felt a bit bad for leaving Makoto "hanging" as people liked to say but there was simply no choice. With both Rei and Nagisa around, it'd be frustrating to have an decent conversation with Makoto without ridiculous comments each second that he was typing.

 

**Haruse00 : ** _Hey.. about earlier.. that wasn't me._

 

**Tachioto : ** _Wasn't you...? What do you mean?_

 

Sometimes, Haru wished that Makoto wasn't so oblivious.

 

**Haruse00 :** _The whole ";)))))" thing.. that whole statement, really. It was one of my friends._

 

Haru hated how awkward he felt at the moment. Maybe he shouldn't have brought it up. Maybe he should have left it in the dust to die and be forgotten like all his other embarrassing past memories.

 

 **Tachioto:** _Oh, I don't mind Haru! I had a bit of a feeling that wasn't you. It just didn't seem right.._

 

**Haruse00: ** _What. I can do that, if you want. ;))))))))))))))))))))))) See. Done. Does it seem right now?_

 

Haru questioned why he was becoming a bit defensive. It was really nothing to get offended over and yet here he was, trying to prove Makoto that he could be "right".

 

**Tachioto:** _I don't think you understood what I was trying to say, haha. But if it pleases you, then yes._

 

**Tachioto : ** _;)_

 

Slowly and surely, Haru felt himself growing more and more heated. His feelings felt completely out of whack right now and yet a smile was daring to show itself on his lips as he read Makoto's messages. He wasn't sure what this was, right now. Was it flirting? Was it joking? Sometimes, he wished he could just see some people in real life to understand exactly what was going on.

 

**Haruse00 : ** _Should I just end all of my sentences with ";)"? "If it's please you"._

 

**Tachioto : ** _Now, that'd be really funny, Haru. But it's really your choice. As you can already tell, I've taken quite a huge liking to it. I'm sure you'd enjoy it too! ;))_

 

**Haruse00 : ** _And if I don't...?_

 

**Haruse00 : ** _;)_

 

Truth be told, Haru was enjoying this.

 

**Tachioto : ** _Then wouldn't that be a problem, hmm? ;)_

 

Haru couldn't avoid the laugh that slipped past his lips.

 

**Haruse00 : ** _Wanna play a game? ;)_

 

**Tachioto : ** _What kind of game? ;)_

 

**Haruse00 : ** _A game about fishes. You have to be this fish and eat as much fish food as you can before the time stops. It's easy and free._

 

**Haruse00 : ** _;)_

 

**Tachioto : ** _Oh.. okay! ;)_

 

The game lasted quite a while before both Makoto and Haru grew bored of it and abandoned it completely. Not really abandoning it but leaving it on pause as they talked to each other on Skype after Makoto requested they do so.

"It's pretty nice out here," Makoto said, his voice drifting through the speaker as Haru watched him silently rest his chin in the palm of his hand. "It's incredibly quiet though. I'm not really used to that."

"Oh," speaking up, that was all Haru could offer before deciding to test his comfort zone. "Where I'm from, it's pretty quiet too. Not that I hate it." He thought it was only fair to enlighten Makoto with some of the details about where he lived. He wouldn't just blatantly give out his address, that's absurd. Of course Makoto was a nice person but Haru couldn't really trust anyone _that_ much that he met online. He knew the whole "stranger danger" thing and he wasn't going to toss it aside now.

"Really? Heh, that's kinda weird. I really enjoy it here though, the peace and quiet is nice," he said softly, and by the tone of his voice, Haru could instantly tell he was growing more and more weary by the minute. "Well, besides Ren and Ran constantly running around. Tomorrow, I think I may just walk around to check things out so I don't think I'll be online."

"Okay."

Haru watched as Makoto let out a small yawn and rubbed at his eyes. "Oh man, it's getting late.. I think I'm going to head off to sleep now, Haru." Haru felt a small bit compelled to tell him to stay but in the end, he didn't.

"Yes, you look tired."

"Ah, I knew you'd say something like that," Makoto laughed softly as he scratched the back of his neck. "Well, talk to you soon!" And with that, Makoto left the call which in turn ended it of course. Haru decided to log out of both Skype and his gaming account in favor of just sitting in the bath and relaxing. Standing up and stretching a bit, Haru walked towards the bathroom, meanwhile discarding his clothes each step of the way. He'd pick them up later once he was out of the bath and more relaxed. Seating himself on the edge on the tub, Haru turned on the faucet and turned the waters knob so that it was lukewarm and watched as the tub slowly began to rise with water. Once it was filled, he stepped in and sat down, bring his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them while leaning his chin on it.

His mind drifted back to his conversation with Makoto and all he could do was mentally apologize for Nagisa and feel his cheeks heat up red. It was as if he was more prone to blushing now than before.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was actually pretty happy writing this chapter I really love how dorky they were using the ";)" it was so fuCKING cute.  
> like and we all knew when haru asked for a game mako had something else in mind ;))))  
> I just really wanted a cute (I hope its cute omg) chapter after the last one bc haru was just "):"  
> I love rei and nagisa so much it fucking hurts 
> 
> AND I love you guys. 
> 
> tune in next week (or month jfc who knows with me) for the next chap. ";)"

**Author's Note:**

> kudos, comments, i dont mind. what really matters is that whether you enjoyed it or not. <3


End file.
